You can substitute an egg

Yesterday I was subbing a 6th grade class. Much more manageable than the kindergarten, though they do present their own host of challenges. At one point we were split into small groups. I was sitting in the corner on a giant pillow reading with some kids. It's a favorite game of theirs to try and catch each other not paying attention while reading. In the middle of a paragraph one kid suddenly said "Ray" and Ray, being an astute, though possibly overly energetic young man, picked right up where the other had left off. At the end of the sentence he said defiantly "Howdya like me now?" We all just laughed.

Today I was given the class from hell. This is the third grade class with the zealously religious youngster from a few weeks ago. Spending the whole day with them was quite an adventure. In the end we spent a fair amount of time practicing being quiet.

At the end of the day I was rewarded with - you guessed it - my very own neon orange safety vest! Does life get any better?

I have to say that I love it when I walk down the hall and random children yell "Hey Mr. B!" It's such a great feeling. One kid today even said "What up B?" How cool is that?

The effervescence of ginger

My Thanksgiving holiday was amazing!!! I took a trip to New York to visit my dear friend Emily. I had a total blast. Here are some of the highlights:

I left Tuesday night after my rehearsal and got to NY around 6 am the next morning giving me a total of about 3 hours of sleep. From the moment I arrived we pretty much went non-stop. We cruised Manhattan and had a great time. 5th Ave, Rockefeller Plaza, Tiffany's, The waterfront, watching the stage-hands in their striking efforts.

Because of the strike we didn't get to see a show. There were still shows going on, but not really anything I wanted to see.



At one point during the day I was losing my momentum, so I requested we sit and people watch for a spell. Whilst resting our tootsies on a curbside bench a group of older men came sauntering down the sidewalk. I said to Emily, "Is that Rudy Giulliani?" And sure enough, it was. He was just walking down the street...wearing a very nice suit.


During part of our wanderings we went to Grand Central Station and found the most amazing store with the coolest stuff. I got some neato sticky notes to help me in my scripture study. The company is called Pylones.

Thursday was equally amazing. We - being Emily, her cousin Mark, and I - went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Worth doing once, but I think next year I'll just enjoy it from the comfort of the living room. We woke up a bit late, so we only caught the end, but we did get to see Wynona Judd, Willard Scott, and the Mr. Potatohead balloon. Also, it was about 65 degrees. I'm definitely not complaining about that.

Dinner was spectacular - I think more so because I got to help make it. Everything was made from scratch from the sweet potato casserole, to the cornbread in the stuffing. I even cut herbs from the Nelson's garden for the gravy. It was amazing.

We went to see the new Disney movie Enchanted. Aside from the fact that the evil queen's costume looked like it came off the Halloween clearance rack at Wal-mart, it was an awesome movie. Definitely a feel-good, warm fuzzy type adventure. And Disney makes fun of themselves for pretty much the entire film. A definite must-see.

My trip ended with carrot cake, and two slightly delayed flights - during one of which I was almost neglected during the beverage service. I also had an entire row of seats to myself, and so availed myself of the opportunity for a nap.

I only had two days in the big Apple, but they were amazing. I had a great time, and can't wait to get back once the strike is over...sigh...

Thank you sir, may I have another?

So many good things to report. Since my last blog life has been nothing short of splendid. I've been happy and I'm getting back to being my old self rather quickly. This all makes my life a better place. Three things that have made it even better:

1 - Rehearsals for Lend Me A Tenor have started. I can't tell you how much this has saved my soul. Today I basically had just enough time to do everything I needed to between getting up and going to bed. It was brilliant. Rehearsals are a BLAST and this is going to be so much fun. I also got free breakfast at the first rehearsal, so I'm definitely not complaining.

2 - My sub job today was nothing short of amazing. I taught at a school for special needs children. I was a bit nervous about it when I first got there, but the day turned out to be awesome. Basically what I did all day is play go fish, and eat popcorn. However the highlight of the day was about an hour into it when they informed me that I would be swimming with the kids. And I did. It was unexpected, random, and so much fun! My job rocks!

3 - I got a job. I'll be a permanent sub/instructional assistant/all-purpose educational employee at the school where I was tackled by the 2nd Grade. I am so pumped for this. This means that I'll have a consistent paycheck and plenty of time to pursue other interests i.e. acting, dancing, singing. All the things that I love and adore.

So overall life is very very good at the moment, despite the fact that as I write this there is a pumpkin rotting on my front porch. I'm busy, I'm happy, I'm thriving. Exciting things are coming up, and I've even chortled a couple of times lately. That's right - chortled!

I'm back...again.

I came to a realization a couple days ago that the Greg I used to be had disappeared. Many of you know me to be a rather gregarious, outgoing, lovable, happy-go-lucky, random person. That's the Greg you love and adore. I went to dinner with some friends and I was that person again. I was singing show tunes at the table, causing scenes in public, gyrating my hips - much to the chagrin of the kiosk man at the mall, things I used to do and love and I realized it's been a while since that Greg has been around. At least on a consistent basis. That Greg would show up occasionally for parties and things. Pop in when dessert was done, or when I needed a couple of bucks for a new shirt, but he'd only stay til the brownie pan was empty and then he'd come up with some lame excuse about how late it was, or how he had "things to do" and he'd be gone.

Lately I've been a Greg plagued by anxiety, riddled with frustration, void of direction or focus. This is not a person I like to be. I want the old Greg back. I like him. And I honestly don't know where he went, or even exactly what made him leave. I've got my ideas, but...

Anyway, now that I've come to a realization that Greg went AWOL, I think he and I are going to have a chat. Don't worry though, I'll go easy on him. I think he just needs to start pulling his weight again. Maybe stay to help with the dishes...or at least give me his wallet.

I think I'll be ok. I kind of like being that guy that everybody loves in spite of themselves. I just can't help myself.

As a semi-secondary moment of self discovery, I've also come to realize that I think I rely too much on other people for my own happiness. I believe this is evidenced in earlier blogs. Happiness needs to come from within. Then if other people bring happiness it's a bonus. Happiness, like love, is a choice. A tough choice to make and follow through with, perhaps, but a choice nonetheless.

As a preview for my adventures from next week, from overheardinnewyork.com:

NY-er, as visitor friend hesitates at crosswalk: It is so touristy to be afraid of getting hit by cars.

Sporking

There once was a man named Bobby
Shaving monkeys for sport was his hobby
He'd skin them all clean
It made quite a sheen
So he displayed them all in the lobby.

For those interested I have more info on "Lend Me A Tenor." I'm the Monday, Wednesday, Friday guy. So starting New Year's Eve (though I think that day may actually already be sold out) I'll be in the show every MWF until Feb. 9. I may also be in some matinee performances, but I forget. For further information on times, locations, tickets, etc. etc. etc. visit the Hale Centre Theatre Website.

Along those lines, the Hale People asked me this week if I would be in the publicity photos for the show. I was delighted and quite honored. Consequently I have to shave my beard earlier than I thought. This makes me sad. I wonder if they're going to reverse their casting decision in consequence. I don't know that they know how young I look without a beard. Oh well.

So a while ago I suggested the 5 love languages theory to a friend to help alleviate some anxiety he was feeling in a friendship. I had a basic knowledge of what the 5 love languages consist of and how they apply to life, but I took my own advice and actually read the book. It was quite good. I recommend it to everyone - especially you Mom and Dad I think you'd get a lot out of it. Married people, single people, everyone - read it, live it, love it.

And just FYI for everyone, my love language is Quality Time followed closely by Words of Affirmation. Basically if you pay attention to me and put effort into our relationship i.e. spend time with me, talk to me, reciprocate on the communication front etc. - I'll feel like you love me. If this is a sound theory, I think this may explain some of the recent frustrations of my life. One interesting thing that the book points out is that love doesn't just happen. Love is a choice. I like that.

Updates, downdates, and fresh dates.

So, I didn't get the job. I called a couple of times this week to follow up and see what was going on. I finally got a hold of the girl in charge (I met her during the interview with the HR guy. She reminded me of someone from "The Devil Wears Prada"...and she was showing too much cleavage), she was a bit curt and said they'd have a decision made by today (I'm wondering what happened to Monday) and that if I didn't hear from them they'd "gone another way." So, that's that. If they knew how perfect I was for that job they wouldn't have waited...or said no, but alas a 10-minute interview isn't the best indication of eligibility - especially for me because I'm rather quite in situations like that. It's a curse. Oddly enough I'm really not that disappointed. I tend to think everything happens for a reason.

I'm still thinking of using them as an agency and trying my hand at professional acting (with the encouragement of various friends and family members). I know if I did that It'd be one thing I'd never regret, however I might regret never trying.

Now, as I've mentioned before I like to check every once in a while to see what keywords people are using to find my blog. Here are my most recent favorites:

"disheveled women"
"old woman boobs and make me laugh"
"mockingbird making change collection plate"

Apparently my blog is a bit more scandalous than I've planned it to be.

And seriously - who lives in Bozeman Montana?

I had to replace my tires this week. Wow, that was a hit to the old pocketbook. I mean, ouch. At least I'll be prepared for winter weather. I also changed the oil, dressed up the steering wheel, washed, vacuumed, armor-alled, and vanilla-roma'd. My car is happy.

Replacing the tires made me think, though, of how much money I'm going to be spending in December. I have a mortgage payment, HOA fees, utilities, health insurance, car insurance (which I like to pay in a lump sum rather than monthly payments), and Christmas. Sometimes being a grown-up is rather poopy. It's a good thing I've got some money saved up.

The man on the treadmill next to me at the gym today kept staring at me. He was rather large and unkempt...and dressed kind of like a woman. I was a bit frightened...and grossed out.

I'm back!!!

So, I was going to write a post centered around the "good things come in threes" theory. It was going to touch on my new job as an acting coach, my role in the latest show, and something else grand and life-changing. It would have been brilliant, clever, witty, in short everything you'd expect from me, and for a change it would all be good news, but I'm impatient and haven't heard back on the job yet, so...

I auditioned for Lend Me a Tenor at Hale Centre Theatre (yes, they really use that artsy spelling) on Saturday and was called back for a second audition. That took place yesterday and I totally rocked it. I was expecting tougher competition, but I really just had fun and kicked some serious awkward white-boy booty.

And the end result is - I GOT CAST AS MAX!!!!! (for those who aren't familiar with the show, Max is the lead) So, not only did I get cast, but I'm the main guy. I am fairly excited...oh who am I kidding, I'm stoked out of my mind! It's been over a year since I've in a show, so this is very very good news. It also means that I now have something to do. No more lonely nights, no more boredom, no more wondering what to do with myself. I love it!

Now I just need to get that job as an acting coach, and have something else spectacular happen - i.e. meet the woman of my dreams, find a briefcase full of money and have no one claim it, get discovered by a hollywood/broadway producer...good things come in threes after all.

I survived recess

In a rather pleasant turn of events I ended up with a subbing job today.

At recess I decided it might be fun to frolic with the little cherubs, so I did - and it was.

We started playing duck duck goose, which some how turned into climb on Mr. B, which then turned into dog-pile on Mr. B, which consequently turned into catch Mr. B and then dog-pile on him. So I ended up at the bottom of a pile of close to 100 2nd graders and all I could do was lie there and laugh.

I also ate school lunch for the first time in nearly 10 years.

Waiting...

Again from A Thousand Splendid Suns:

In that week, Laila came to believe that of all the hardships a person had to face none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting.

I've interviewed for a job - I'm waiting.

I auditioned for a show and got called back - I'm waiting.

The brownies are in the oven - I'm waiting.

You're out there somewhere, I know you are - I'm waiting.