Things 5

Things that are black:

my TV remote

my TV

tires

Asian hair

VHS tapes

asphalt

Secret Service vehicles

cast iron

gaff tape

the bottom of the ocean

Gladys Knight

vinyl albums

Dial Tone

Picture it:

Front seat of the bus. Naugahyde smell, rowdy pre-teens chattering excitedly, morning sun shining brightly over the dew-covered cities of the valley.

Our hapless hero sits happily texting a friend about plans for a future road-trip. Suddenly his phone slips from his fingers. No biggie, right? Normally yes, but today is different. The phone - insert slo-mo sequence - falls to the floor, bounces under the barrier separating the seat from the bus stair-well, clatters down the stairs, and slips through the crack between the stairs and the bus door meeting its doom at 50 mph.

Later, pieces of the phone would be found scattered along the side of the road, where they would be collected and taken to their final resting place - the Verizon Cabinet of Shame.

End-note: Phone warranties do not cover falling out of a bus.

Things 4

Things I eat on a fairly regular basis:

cereal

soy milk

chocolate

orange juice

home made pizza

potatoes

pasta

Warm Delights

apples

blended fruit smoothie drinks

Twix

brownies

cutie oranges

Things 3

Things I find hilarious and/or depressing:

Doing a session at the temple and being the only single guy in the room

Being old enough to audition for the part of a father

Having a bald spot

Laura Bedore

Hale Center Theater's lack of chutzpah

Watching my students mark wrong answers I know they know the right answer for

Watching the snow come down on Thursday

Congress