Of interest

I received quite a lot of feedback about my last post. There were some interesting things I noticed that I'd like to share.

1 - Almost everyone that wrote me in one way or another, said they'd felt the same way at some point. I think that's fascinating. Apparently, though not surprisingly, everyone feels left out, left behind, not important etc. etc. etc. I also think it's interesting because one would think that would make people more aware of their friendships and realize that everyone feels that way, thus inspiring us to make sure no one feels that way on our account.

2 - No one who wrote me apologized. That wasn't the reason I wrote the post, and it's not that anyone had a reason to apologize, I just think it's interesting that no one said anything along the lines of, "I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel that way..." etc. Again, not that anyone needed to. Most people offered assistance and sympathy, but no one offered to make amends. On that note, I'd like to apologize if I've ever made anyone feel like that. It's one my least favorite feelings; right up there next to uncertainty and an empty pan of brownies. Just give me a gentle reminder if I'm ever the perpetrator of that feeling in your life.

3 - None of the people who had caused my most recent frustrations said anything. The people who wrote me were people who have never really made me feel the way I was feeling. I guess that just proves my point.

4 - More than one person mentioned Rock-A-Doodle. I think perhaps we may need to have a group viewing of this priceless piece of cinema and commiserate together.

Ok, so I don't know that I'll actually plan a Rock-A-Doodle party because it's seems to be my lot in life that when I plan something people just don't show up. But I may buy the movie and watch it alone with a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate...though anyone is more than welcome to join me. ;)

So that everyone knows, I'm feeling better. In fact, I had a one-man dance party yesterday and totally rocked out - it was joyous. I think it's because I've finally gotten to a point where it doesn't matter. I've got lots of great friends who do care. Some messages came from some rather unexpected places and made me realize - once again - how lucky I am.

Having said that, I'm still done. I'm done being plan B, done being disappointed, done putting effort into people/things/whatever that don't give back, done worrying about it. I'm more than willing to respond/reciprocate, but for now I'm done initiating. That may mean an interesting dating life, and some lonely nights ahead, but one can only take so much. At this point I figure it's not my loss because let's face it - I'm a damn good friend. I'm funny, moderately attractive, an excellent cook, and I own season one of Ducktales, the first episode of Fraggle Rock, and a huge lovesac. Plus I make a mean pan of brownies, and I do it often.

I'll most likely get back to my socially proactive self eventually, but until then, you know where to find me.