I came to a realization a couple days ago that the Greg I used to be had disappeared. Many of you know me to be a rather gregarious, outgoing, lovable, happy-go-lucky, random person. That's the Greg you love and adore. I went to dinner with some friends and I was that person again. I was singing show tunes at the table, causing scenes in public, gyrating my hips - much to the chagrin of the kiosk man at the mall, things I used to do and love and I realized it's been a while since that Greg has been around. At least on a consistent basis. That Greg would show up occasionally for parties and things. Pop in when dessert was done, or when I needed a couple of bucks for a new shirt, but he'd only stay til the brownie pan was empty and then he'd come up with some lame excuse about how late it was, or how he had "things to do" and he'd be gone.
Lately I've been a Greg plagued by anxiety, riddled with frustration, void of direction or focus. This is not a person I like to be. I want the old Greg back. I like him. And I honestly don't know where he went, or even exactly what made him leave. I've got my ideas, but...
Anyway, now that I've come to a realization that Greg went AWOL, I think he and I are going to have a chat. Don't worry though, I'll go easy on him. I think he just needs to start pulling his weight again. Maybe stay to help with the dishes...or at least give me his wallet.
I think I'll be ok. I kind of like being that guy that everybody loves in spite of themselves. I just can't help myself.
As a semi-secondary moment of self discovery, I've also come to realize that I think I rely too much on other people for my own happiness. I believe this is evidenced in earlier blogs. Happiness needs to come from within. Then if other people bring happiness it's a bonus. Happiness, like love, is a choice. A tough choice to make and follow through with, perhaps, but a choice nonetheless.
As a preview for my adventures from next week, from overheardinnewyork.com:
NY-er, as visitor friend hesitates at crosswalk: It is so touristy to be afraid of getting hit by cars.
4 comments:
Greg, you are so insightful and I'll never understand how most of the time you write exactly what I need to hear. Thanks for being a great friend, cousin, and roommate. And just know, that if there's anything I can do to help I'm just on the other side of the house. :)
Grego
Mom says you are wise beyond your years. I told her often you scare me beyond my years.
Dad
Hip-gyrating Greg is a bit more frightening, but still a lot more fun! Welcome back =D
That "touristy" just made not only my day, but quite possibly my entire life. Thanks! :-D
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