Soap Box

I love kids, I think that's evident.  I love teaching kids, also fairly apparent.  I think everything else about the educational system in America sucks.

I started my application for the ARL program (Alternative Route to Licensure - this is a program in Utah where one can receive a teaching license while teaching, after having obtained a Bachelor's Degree).  An exciting day in the life of any young aspiring teacher taking a non-traditional route to certification.

To become a teacher one has to get a background check - totally understandable.  There's a fee involved - that's to be expected, I suppose.  The breakdown of the fee is as follows, and I quote, "$69 fee for criminal background check ($49 fingerprint fee plus $20 UPPAC fee)."  Ok, I'm fine with that...I guess.  What I'm not fine with is the fact that I have to pay an additional $10 to get fingerprinted - WHAT?!  Then what's the *&^#@ $49 fee for?!  On top of that, Granite district already has my electronic fingerprints on file from when I got a job as a substitute.  Do you think they could just send those in?  Oh no, I have to get fingerprinted again.  They even used the same machine!

And that's only the beginning of the fees.  There's a non-refundable $50 application/evaulation fee.  I guess that's so that some old decrepit white guy up at the state office can look at my application and say yes or no - regardless of whether or not I'd actually be a good teacher.  And if he says no - I'm out $120!

Then, if I make the program, there's a Program Development and Tracking Fee.  That's so they can tell me what classes/tests to take to get my license.  They review my transcripts (which I have to pay a fee to get sent.  $4 so they can print a piece of paper!) and figure out what areas I'm lacking.  And by the by, my 6 semesters of dance don't count for physical education.  However if I'd had a semester of golf it would.  Go figure.  I think I'm riled up enough by that to bust into the ARL office and fight it out.  I go to the gym regularly, watch what I eat, and am a healthy happy person.  I guarantee dance is more physically educational than a lot of sports and just as educational as any sport.  What am I gonna teach 2nd graders that I don't already know?  All they do for PE is run around the gym!

Once they've determined the classes I need to take, I subsequently have to take those classes - and pay for them.  And there's the delightful Praxis test which determines whether or not I am, in fact, smarter than a 5th grader.  And you guessed it - more fees - that's right, plural fees.  Registration fee, a fee for each individual test, a fee for the test supplies, proctor's snack fee, emergency pencil supply fee, a fee for the possibility of rain, a fee for the Shaman to bring us peace...  I looked, and one fee is called the Score Verification Fee, a fee to double check?!  A ray of hope - depending on when I take the Praxis, I might be able to get some of the fees waived...

Then comes the glorious day when I've completed the program.  And now, my beloved brethren, I would ask if all is done.  Behold I say unto you - Nay!  I have to pay a licensing fee!  Like I haven't given them enough money!  This reminds me of when I graduated college and there was a fee for the diploma, I felt like walking into the President's office and saying, "I just pumped nigh unto $20,000 into this institution and now you want me to pay for my diploma!?!?  WTF?!"

For a state with a teacher shortage, Utah sure does its best to discourage people from signing up.  And this is just the beginning of the asinine bureaucracy that is the American Educational system.  Stay tuned for more rants, they are sure to come.