The Circle of Life

Duncan died.

Not sure what happened. He's been acting a little lethargic lately, and when I got to school on Monday he was dead. So there it is.

And what else am I supposed to do but have a funeral service with my students?

For safety reasons I'm not including my favorite picture which includes my kids standing around Duncan's coffin putting on their saddest faces. Just know that it was super adorable and entirely hilarious.

So, here's what went down:

After recess we gathered in the front of the school outside our classroom window. I dug a small hole and placed Duncan in it.

Then I had the kids all line up,

take a handful of dirt, say their

goodbye, and throw the dirt in the hole. This was actually kind of tender.

I finished burying Duncan and one of the kids suggested that we sing something. We sang the only song I believed to be appropriate to the situation - The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

I told my kids on Monday that Duncan had gone the way of all the Earth, and on Tuesday morning one of my girls brought me a card. I thought it was an early birthday card, but upon opening it later that evening, I found this:

The inside reads, "Someone so much a part of us is never really gone." With the personal message, "mr.B I am sorry we lost Dunckenwe will miss him Love M."

I almost fell on the floor. SO FUNNY! My kids kill me.

Half-way there!

Date Number:

The girl: B-wo!!!
The connection: So many, really...
The setting: The WV Hales.
The plot: The Hales has a little-known, unadvertised Sunday fireside that they do on occasion. I have a couple of friends in the show so I took another friend - namely the inimitable B-wo - to the show to support our friends in this most churchy of shows.

B-wo is involved in theater out-of-state for the summer so she was at a meeting out-of-town and met me at the theater.

Sometimes, as an actor, I forget that when watching religiously themed shows I have to take off my actor glasses and put on my spiritual glasses. That's especially hard when I'm seeing it with another actor, and when I have actor friends in the show, so the actor glasses were on. It was quite the show. They only put it on about once a month, so it's not a very fresh show. There were lots of moments where B-wo and I sat there thinking, "Come one guys, line! LINE!!!" It was pretty funny. An excellent bonding moment for sure. I could go on for pages about the unbelievability of the plot, the less-than stellar acting, etc. but we'll just say the show had a good message. :)

Funny moment: When our friend in the show said something entirely hilarious and B-wo and I were the only two people laughing. I love it when that happens.

Lucky...or not...

Date Number:

The girl: M
The connection: We both know my brother.
The setting: The WV Hales.
The plot: We went to Fiddler On the Roof at Hale Theater. I have a few friends in the show, and know a few people at the theater, so that was an interesting experience for a blind date. I realized a ways into the whole Hale experience how arrogant it might seem to take someone unknowingly into a situation like that. Probably not something I'll do again. However, M played it off with panache and understanding - suggesting that we should have worn VIP badges so we could get free soda.

M went to SUU and met my bro in the fraternity/sorority circles and they became fast friends, so my bro decided he should line us up. M is currently student teaching and hopes to either teach 1st or 4th grade next year. That gave us plenty to talk about and we had a great time. She's a great conversationalist, and one hilarious person. She also happens to live in the SE corner of the valley, so I didn't get home from this date until almost 11:30. Woot! Gotta love that.

Favorite moment: M randomly busted out a pop quiz on me. HILARIOUS!!! It was only one question - which I can't recall at the moment - but I vowed then and there to start giving people pop quizzes. So be prepared. :)

Note from a student

"please make us do more math. but a tip not to much cause then my head well die."

Noted.

Um....uh....B! B!

Matching game!

1. Distributive Property of Multiplication

2. Associative Property of Multiplication

3. Commutative Property of Multiplication

4. Identity Property of Multiplication

5. Identity Property of Addition

6. Zero Property of Multiplication

a. 7 X 1 = 7

b. 0 X 4 = 0

c. 8 X 7 X 2 = 2 X 8 X 7

d. 16 + 0 = 16

e. 6(9 + 3) = (6 X 9) + (6 X 3)

f. 5 X 4 = 4 X 5

Yep. Now try teaching that to an 8-yr-old.

Or a moment like this...

Int. Classroom. Mr. B sharpens pencils whilst Mrs. L prepares small group math materials at the back table.

Enter Mrs. D with child (J) in-tow. J was cleaning scuff marks off the floor in the hallway for some minor indiscretion and was caught by his mother - Mrs. D.

"Mr. B, I am sorry for what J has done."

"Oh, I didn't tell him to clean..."

"It's okay. J, come here. Sit on my lap."

Mr. B continues to sharpen pencils.

Mrs. D proceeds to spank J.

Mr. B continues to sharpen pencils, at a loss for what to do as he is taken completely by surprise.

And.....scene!

Possibly the most awkward moment of my short educational career. I don't presume to know much about parenting, but I'm fairly certain that's not the best disciplinary strategy...

A moment like this...

Me: We're going to read "How to Eat Fried Worms" then, if you get more points than me on the scoreboard we'll watch the movie, and I'll bring fried worms for everyone to try.

M: I'm allergic to worms.

Me: *eye roll*

J: I'm allergic to soap.

R: I'm allergic to Journey! *air guitar*

One Dozen!

Date Number:

The girl: B-wo. Dancer, actress, vocalist, student, and all-around hilarious person.
The connection: See date #7
The setting: O-rem
The plot: B came to my show Saturday and afterward we traveled on down to UVU to join some friends of ours and see a another friend from Dolly in a production of Urinetown. Honestly - top 5 funniest shows I have ever seen. It wasn't just the show itself - which is riotously funny - but the direction, the design, and the performers were all incredible. B and I were both laughing our heads off. It was great. We went to Applebees after. I think I spend too much time at Applebees. Just sayin'.
Funny: The show. Also, the fact that the hostess at AB sat us down, but forgot to inform a waiter that we were there. We had to wave one over.

Inner Geek

Sometimes I'm kind of a geek. But who isn't at times? I find this intensely fascinating and completely mind-boggling:

The 11th hour...

Date Number:

The girl: M
The connection: She's my cousin! Now before you freak out and think I've gone all British Aristocracy on you, I made a concerted effort to find a non-immediately related girl to take, but ended up not being able to, so I took my cousin instead. It's a cousin-date, a "stale" date as my friend puts it, but a date nonetheless, I'm counting it.
The setting: The SLC
The plot: We went to the Olive Garden for dinner and had some delicious food, then to the Opera! Carmen was playing. My friend works for the Utah Symphony and Opera doing their publications, so she hooked me up with some sweet tickets down in the orchestra. It was pretty awesome. It was the first time at the opera for both me and M, and after 4 acts, 2 intermissions and a short set-change break, we ended up rather enjoying the whole thing.
Funny: All the people at the opera. Old women dressing like they're not-so-old, lots of sparkles, pharmacy professors with their spouses, the man with the extremely bad dye job (a lady overheard me commenting on it and said "That's where bad shitzus go to die." Laughter ensued.)
Funny, but awkward: I saw a friend of mine there and smacked his butt to get his attention without him seeing me. He didn't react at all. Then he finally turned around and kind of seemed like he didn't recognize me, but he laughed about it anyway. I had to run to get parking validation, so we couldn't talk long and it was kind of awkward. We ended up catching up after the show, but still - awkward.