The Grand Floridian

Dear Diary, Taylor isn't gay, but I do think he might have hair plugs.

This beats all - the maid knocked on our door this morning. This may not seem out of the ordinary, that's what maids do. But the 'do not disturb' sign was on the door. As far as I'm concerned, that's akin to sacrilege.

I am sooo thirsty. Despite the outrageously humid conditions, I just can't seem to consume enough water.

I got a sunburn last week in California and I'm now peeling. I hate peeling, it makes me feel leprous - plus it itches.

Our commute this morning consisted in walking from our hotel room to the conference center. The CC is a separate building from the hotel, so we walked outside - which sort of goes without saying. As we approached our destination we saw a camper parked in front of the doors. We though "Oh look, one of our attendees camped out overnight to get a good seat." Funny, yes, but sad because this wouldn't have surprised any of us.

I got an email from Delta today saying that I will now be sitting in seat 4D on my flight to Ft. Lauderdale next week. That's first class - in so many ways.

Here's something I'd like to share with everyone - happy list

I appreciate the beauty of people. Both physical and otherwise, but physically beautiful people rarely appear in my current line of work. When they do it's a much welcome respite from the lack of teeth and common grooming habits that seems so prevalent in the world today. This is especially true when their grandmother is waiting for them and describes them as "Blond, blue-eyed, and really good-looking." Now normally when a grandmother says this one thinks "Right, at most this person is moderately attractive" so when it turns out that the grandma is not, in fact, biased, but telling the absolute truth - that's a bonus.

Tonight = free steak dinner.

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This is an addendum, but totally necessary:

The following sign was seen on our way to dinner - "Adult Toys, We bare all" and then just below that "Trucker Discounts."

Thoughts from this week's Speaker -

"The closest anyone in my family comes to watercolors is my grandpa. When he was senile he used to paint with his poop."

"It takes a brave man to wear striped socks. Pippy Longstockings and homosexuals - those are the only people I know that wear striped socks." He said this after he saw my striped Old Navy socks. Little does he know...Pippy and I are tight. Consequently, after our dinner conversation, I think he might be slightly homophobic.