Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy is as Happy does

My third year in Salt Lake has come to an end, and let me say that it's been a ridiculously crazy three years. At the end of it all, though, I am as happy as a clam (which according to a friend is about an 8 on the happiness scale) and perhaps even a little happier. Despite life's best efforts to get me down, things are downright fantastic. I couldn't ask for more than I have. I'm a little wiser than I once was, and I think I'm a better person after it all. And I guess that's what really matters isn't it? So, here's this year's list of what brought me to clam status on the happy scale:

-getting out of school early
-days during the winter when even a jacket is not required
-having big plans
-biting into a fresh crunchy apple and having a huge chunk break off
-spur of the moment vacations
-Tally Hall
-free food
-gift cards
-homemade stuff
-excellent weather
-bare feet
-killer parts in awesome shows
-Applebee's half-priced appetizers
-walking around looking at cool architecture in old neighborhoods
-unexpected giddiness
-the symphony
-wall vinyl
-mismatched Christmas tree ornaments that still mesh well
-flavored lemonade
-shopping carts
-good story tellers
-slippery sheets
-kitchen science
-alphabet books
-children's books
-when it's so hot outside that the tar on the blacktop squishes under my shoes
-pumpkin spice steamers from Starbucks
-when my tarantula Duncan catches a cricket
-paper snowflakes
-show people
-chips and salsa
-days off
-the bedazzler
-crazy life-changing decisions
-grammar (don't judge)
-British accents
-Google docs
-mixin' it up
-the ghost of Christmas yet to come
-dance parties
-following your gut
-J. Crew

Friday, December 25, 2009


Date Number:

The girl: D.
The connection: My dad's office manager's cousin. Yep. She's wanted to set us up for years, and it just happened to work out this time.
The setting: McDonald's in Richfield. (Don't judge, there aren't many places to go in Richfield)
The plot
: This was a quick, getting to know you kind of date. We shared an order of french fries while playing several rounds of speed and chatting. Simple, short, delightful. She's from that area of Utah as well. We know lots of the same people (she's actually met my sister and my sister-in-law), but we've never met. She currently lives in St. George, enjoys reading, and is considering returning to school.
Funny: The fact that there were all of 2 people in McDonald's at the time we went, and it was still like pulling teeth to get someone to take our order or give us ketchup.
Something in common: Aside from growing up in a small town, she also did theatrical things in high school. Always a fun subject to talk about.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Starving Artist

So, you'll note here that one of my goals in life is to be in a movie. And more than just as an extra. To that end, I have acquired an agent. I affectionately call here Estelle in tribute to Joey Tribbiani's agent. She actually reminds me of a mix of Estelle and Dolly Parton. I think she is hugely entertaining.

She sent me to an audition for a hockey referee - which many of you will think is hilarious, as I did - for this film. If nothing else it was a good experience. Plus, the scandalous boyfriend from Charly was there. He was auditioning for the same role as me. I figure that makes me locally famous by association.

There's also a project being filmed right here in Salt Lake City. It's called "Immortality Bites" - a vampire comedy. Last night I was an extra (apparently the new PC term is "background artist", personally I prefer "film parsley") in a frat-house scene. Basically what happened is I waited four hours in a chilly house (people kept coming in and out, so it never got warm) so that I could sit in the background at a table with two Russians for about 20 minutes eating soggy cheerios. Should anyone see the movie, and if the scene makes the final cut, and if you can actually see me, I'm in the kitchen during the beer pong scene eating a bowl of soggy cheerios and practicing my cursive.

So there it is. On the road to stardom. More to come on this subject shortly. Stay tuned. :)

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A note...

Dear directors of the world,

Please, on behalf of the sanity of actors everywhere, don't expound. When you give us notes, just give the note, have a little trust, and let us go. We don't need flowery explanations, founts of knowledge regarding motivation or background reasoning, and we certainly don't want our time wasted, or yours. Clear, concise, short. Words to live by.

The actors of the world.

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Date Number:

The girl: Sara. Now for those of you who are thinking "Wahoo!! That's like 5 dates!!! Get 'r done!!!" I'm going to tell you what I tell my students several times a day - chill out. Also, this might be a good opportunity to let you know a little bit more about Sara. She works who just don't get life. She just started a master's program for secondary education. She enjoys dancing, hot chocolate, and small amounts of straight eggnog - which I don't judge her for, but which I also don't understand.
The setting: My house.
The plot
: Paper snowflakes - it had been a while since she'd made one, so I showed her how. Fun times. We also made flying paper lanterns. This is something I wanted to try with my class (we ended up not doing it) and maybe something I'd like to start as a new Christmas tradition. You make them out of tissue paper, and then put something one fire underneath it and, in theory, it floats like a hot air balloon. You can find instructions here. And a pretty cool video of the effect here. Ours didn't work so well. Sara's fell prey to the snow just outside the door, and I think it might have been too cold for mine to actually lift off, but it was just a first attempt, and we had fun making them. :) We followed all of that up with some mad Xanadu action. Probably the worst movie ever, but highly entertaining.
Hilarious: Xanadu. Yep.
Surprising: How easy it actually is to make a paper lantern that will fly. Seriously.
Cool: Actual snowflakes.

Lucky number 7

Date Number:

The girl: B Wo - one of my favorite friends from Hello Dolly. She's currently attending the school down south in the MDT program, has an abundance of dancing talent, an amazing voice, and just enough attitude to keep things interesting. :)
The connection
: Hello Dolly. We were "shuffle across the stage" partners. Every night it was interesting to see who was more out of breath at that point in the show. Good times.
The setting: The house of a mutual friend (MF) in P-town.
The plot
: This was a group date. B Wo and I were joined by MF (who is currently in Earnest with me at Hale) and her BF, and my friend K (friend from Disney days) with his date L (who was sadly on crutches in the snow because of knee problems. We felt for her). We watched the First Presidency devotional on Channel 5 while taking talking and stretching breaks during the choir numbers to try and wake ourselves back up. We love some FP, but their voices are so soothing that sometimes it's hard to stay alert. We ate some delicious treats provided by MF, and played a round of apples to apples. Most of us are show people, as you can probably tell from the picture.
Funny: What the women of the choir were wearing. Appliqued blue caftan-like dresses. We decided that the oldest woman in the choir was given the honor of deciding the wardrobe, and it passes down to the next oldest as people leave - for whatever reason.
Fun: Picking out our standard Mo-tab favorites. i.e. the token black man and Asian woman, the woman with the white hair etc.
Surprising: The new black woman in the choir. None of us had ever seen her before.

Just...ya know...some stuff

Online sticker chart

My Life is Average

Funny e-cards

Cool magazine

Cheezy sci-fi movies make me laugh.

My Christmas tree looks magical.

I almost made it to Christmas break without getting sick. I consider that a small miracle.

My lovesac may or may not currently be the most heavenly place in the world for a nap.

I think this might be genius.

And I feel like my dating life should somehow lead to a moment like this:

Saturday, December 5, 2009

half a dozen

Date Number:

The girl: M
The connection
: Mutual actress friend
The setting: Conference Center
The plot
: She met me at the ticket office to go see a performance of Savior of the World. I didn't get a picture because I figured I'd get one after the show, but I forgot because of the show. I'm not really a cookie-cutter spiritually blatant Mormon-type Mormon. You know the type, they go to BYU, memorize talks by the general authorities, buy BOM-themed games and the prophet face cards. They wear khakis and polo shirts and will probably go to dental school. But I have to say, the show was pretty awesome. It tells the story of Christ's birth and resurrection. Act I is the story of his birth, Act II is the story of his resurrection. Pretty straight-forward. I must say I was a little skeptical, but by intermission both M and I were wiping away the tears and making jokes about how they need to install Kleenex boxes on the arm-rests. Act II was equally moving. I won't go into details, but it really makes you stop and think, and can give you an interesting perspective on things. Definitely worth going to.
Props: SOTW cast. They performed admirably, and even stood out in the cold to greet their adoring audience after the show.
Surprising: The number of people they fit on that stage. Leave it to the church to take "cast of thousands" literally.
Business idea: Armrest Kleenex holders.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ha ha ha ha hm.....

I think it's funny when:

Guys watch themselves working out in the mirror at the gym.
Kids get educational songs stuck in their heads.
My school's internet filter won't let a page through because it's "dubious/unsavory".
People drive 30 mph on the freeway in their SUV during a light snowstorm.
You fall asleep for a power nap and wake up several hours later.

Personality types of people I know that bug me to death:

-The one-upper. One of my students is kind of a one-upper. *eye twitch*
-The "I've been home from my mission for years, but I'm still not home from my mission". Akin to the one-upper, but specific to the country of the mission.
-The aspirer. This person wants to be in the position of the authority figure currently over them and acts as if they already are.
-The vicarious liver. Usually someone too old to be doing what you're doing, so they try to get you to do it the way they would.