Saturday, November 28, 2009

People who need people...

Call me crazy, but I LOVE crowds. Love 'em.

I love things like busy amusement parks, midnight movies, Black Friday, and the ward jell-o cook-off. If there are going to be tons of people there, sign me up!

I always hear people say things like "You won't see me out there!" or "That place is a zoo! There's no way I'm going!" or "Grandma's teeth fell out again!" And I don't understand it.

Don't get me wrong, I hate traffic, finding a parking place, and waiting in long lines, but I love the excitement and energy that surround a churning crowd of people - the possibility that something insane is going to happen. I love people watching and the more people there are, the more crazies there are bound to be - especially when the crowd is summoned by some special event like a movie opening, a renaissance faire, or free sample Saturday down to the Costco.

I thrive off that kind of thing. Love it. Deal.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Last night my bed called me Gaylord

Date(s) #5...and possibly 6/7

The girl(s): Sara...and Leah...and Tara...
So Leah, Tara, and my friend Melissa* thought it would be funny to "set me up" on a date, and then when I showed up it would be the three of them. Hilarious. But, Melissa ended up not being able to go. I was going to ask another girl, but it turns out she has a boyfriend, and is only 19 (to which I am slightly morally opposed), so I asked Sara.
The setting: Downtown SLC
The plot
: Sara and I had a delightful dinner at Settebello, where her father randomly appeared while picking up dinner for himself and Sara's mom. We enjoyed caprese, pizza, and some gelato.
Then we headed to meet Tara and Leah at "Bravo Broadway" with the Utah Symphony at Abravanel Hall. Melissa works for the Symphony and Opera and kindly provided tickets. The show was fairly amazing. It's been a while since I've listened to a live symphony. I miss it.
Funny: Oh where do I begin? Let's start after the show. Upon arriving at my car to take Sara home, we discovered that it wouldn't start. We thought it might just be the battery petering out, so we called Tara and Leah to come help. They kindly did, and we discovered that it was not, in fact, the battery. My car was leaking gas all over the place (not constantly, just when I turned the power on). Well, Leah has AAA, so she called them up to get a tow truck. Turns out, if there's a puddle of gas, AAA won't come to tow the car unless the fire department has checked the area to make sure it's safe. Yep, we were just as confused as you.
Enter the SLCFD. We called them up to come check it out. The lady on the phone was just as confused as the rest of us, but was kind enough to send help - after a lengthy list of questions about the situation (Leah wanted me to request attractive firemen, but somehow I didn't think that would lend to our credibility). We stood out on the sidewalk in front of the parking lot waiting to flag down whoever might be coming when we heard sirens a short distance away. Don't worry, they were for us. The fire engine arrived to save the day - sirens blaring, and lights flashing. And Leah was not disappointed in the crew manning said engine. They poured some sand on the gas, disconnected the battery in my car, and confirmed to AAA that the situation was not dire, before driving off into the sunset (figuratively speaking of course, as it was now about 11:30).
The tow truck arrived a little after midnight and Mike kindly loaded up poor Charley and took him away. Thank you AAA!
At this point we were all freezing and figured we needed something to commemorate this occasion, so we headed to Denny's for some hot chocolate and other ridiculous sorts of merriment. I paid the check (thus dates 6 and 7), and Tara drove everyone home - including my date. *sigh*
Although the situation sucks, all we could do was laugh as we stood rather helplessly in the parking lot freezing our toes off.
Many thanks to Leah, AAA, Mike, The SLCFD, Denny's, Tara, my uncle Gary, Melissa, and Leah's friend Dave who all contributed to the success of the night's adventure.
Best Characters: The random lady who was exiting AH as we were entering and said to me, "Hey! I've seen you at Hales!" Sara and I laughed awkwardly, confirmed her statement and made a hasty entrance into the building to enjoy the giant sculpture in the lobby.
The fire chief who whistled for his crew to come over for the picture, then stood to the side and watched.
Future Dates: Postponed until my car is fixed.

*This post dedicated to Melissa, and the Stake Musical Review "Through Different Eyes."

Thursday, November 12, 2009


The girl: Sarita. It's been quite some time since I've taken a single girl (meaning single as in one girl, not single as in not married) on this many dates, but I rather enjoy Sara, so we're just gonna see what happens.
The setting: My School
The plot
: She came to help me with my after-school book club. These were my more gifted boys. They'd read a book called "101 Things to Do Before You Grow Up". It included cool stuff like how to run a clock on lemonade, how to make a boomerang, and how to hypnotize someone. Due to poor planning on my part, we ended up making kites out of garbage bags (yes, it was in the book), and it was actually pretty fun. The boys loved it anyway, even though there was quite a lack of wind that day.
After kites, we went for ice cream at Cold Stone. It's a personal, and mutual favorite. :)
Funny: How many of my boys couldn't tie a simple knot. Also, the lady at Cold Stone who walked in, got a sample, and left.
Curbside Service: Check
Future Dates: Stay tuned

Sunday, November 8, 2009


The girl: Sara, again. :)
The setting: South-central Salt Lake Valley (where there is a dearth of ice cream shops, just FYI)
The plot
: We started the evening with a little racquetball. I didn't get any pictures, which is
probably best for all parties concerned. Just imagine two people who are rhythmically blessed, but sort of athletically challenged trying to hit a small ball around a small enclosed room, with only one florescent light trying its hardest to light their shenanigans, and you've pretty much got the idea. That was followed by a merciful trip home to shower and eat. Then we met up for a movie. I won't tell you which movie because some of you would judge me. :P But I brought pumpkin spice frappuccinos from Starbucks (No, they don't have coffee. Stop judging already.) and a pumpkin cream cheese muffin.
Funny: Watching us play racquetball (read Sara's account), Me being late for racquetball because I trust the grid system too much, and basically the entire movie.
Weird: Families at the movie.
3rd Date: Don't mind if I do.

Chastity, Chocolate, and Cheers

Recall for a moment, if you will, something I posted about a month ago regarding chastity, how much it can sometimes suck, and how un-celebrated - and in fact often mocked - it is.

Enter the 1st Annual Chastity Celebration.

"Congratulations! You did it! (By not doing it.)"

A remedy for the vacuum of virtue. A quenching nectar on the barren plains of purity. A ray of light in the abyss of abstinence. A veritable beacon of hope for the weary soldiers of celibacy.

A bunch of us decided that Chastity really is something worth celebrating, and that we should get some recognition, or at least a piece of cake/commemorative wooden craft for our years of effort in remaining morally clean. And that's just what we did.

Imagine a bunch of twenty-somethings - all virgins (as far as we know) - gathering to have as good a time as possible, and you'll end up with an evening like we had. It went off like a dream. As the initiator of the event, I couldn't have hoped for anything better. There was a table full of delicious creations of every kind (two better-than-sex cakes! - also known as "better than some sex cake," "better than blessings cake," and "better than Tom Cruise cake"), a paper-doll chastity belt design competition, a reflections contest, a white-elephant style gift exchange of immense hilarity (everyone brought a gift representing what chastity meant to them. Seriously, I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while), and a spontaneous code phrase "This is so good!" (Anytime someone said the phrase, we'd all yell "Chastity is my favorite!")

Here are some of the evening's highlights:

The Spread
It's kind of a blurry picture, but you get the idea. This is just one table. On the kitchen counter we also had egg rolls, a chocolate fountain (which didn't work for some reason. Feel free to read irony in to that event somehow), cheese breadsticks, and a veggie tray.

The gifts

There were many other hilarious gifts - Janice Kapp Perry tapes, pants (if you're wearing pants, you'll probably be chaste), a Finding Nemo can (avoid the swimmers) each representing what people thought about chastity. They were so creative and hilarious. These were the ones I got pictures of.

The Chastity Belts

The Chastity Belt Winners
Third Place: Kevin Neff with the VL warrior
Second Place: Charisse Baxter with Chastity Belt Disguise. Underneath is Rosanne Arnold.
First Place: Nate Bohnam with poison oak. Cheap and effective.

Nate with his winning entry, and first prize commemorative wooden craft!


Our theme this first time around was "Chastity is..." We did it old-school reflections style. Just express how you feel about chastity in whatever medium best suits you. We had quite a few entries - pictures, poems, drawings, collages etc. Unfortunately the only one I got a picture of was the winner:

Tara Osborn with "Chastity is...a bitch." And her First place commemorative wooden craft.
Second place was a list of what chastity meant to the author by one Jamie Su'a
Third place - a drawing, on a cell phone, of a woman with hairy legs.

Other favorite entries included:
Melissa Singleton "Chastity is hard. Hard like this rock (insert illustration of a rock). But I rock it."
Charisse Baxter with a Haiku:
Chastity - Just do
It, but not like that. I mean
Just don't do it (yet).

Overall a fantastic night. Thanks to everyone who came and participated. Everyone who couldn't make it - be jealous, and clear the first weekend in November next year.

(we don't get the whole fireworks show, but we can still have sparks!)