Sunday, August 26, 2007

If I may...

So, a couple of note-worthy occurrences came to pass between the time I no longer had access to the internet and now.

First, on our drive to the airport from our last hotel - a drive which took a considerable amount of time - we traversed the roads of Amish country. Normally Amish folk are quaint and endearing, but this time especially so as we saw one young man speeding down the road on roller blades and a young woman, clad firmly in her apron and bonnet, cruising along on a razor scooter. Who'd have thought?

Second - after nearly three months I finally finished David Copperfield. What a great book. I recommend it to everyone! Seriously, it took me a while to get into it, but it really was a fantastic story. It had me in tears - not that that's hard to do.

Funny end to my week - we probably had a total of at least 25 employees on the same flight home from Atlanta. I guess it's a good thing the plane didn't go down.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The beginning of the end

When people show up to our seminars they tend to come in groups. This is especially true when it's close to, or past starting time. It's not a steady stream. I'll have five minutes of nothing, and then all of a sudden, 10 people will show up. It's rather bizarre.

All I've had to eat today is 4 granola bars.

We have to pack up and leave rather hastily this afternoon. Our speaker (who is from Cincinnati) has to be at the airport at 3:30 and it could take up to two hours to drive there. So, we basically get to end, dismantle the operation in a hurried frenzy, and hit the road. Should be fun.

And I'm not in the mood to write anymore, so until next time...

Friday, August 24, 2007


I am a happy person. It's still hazy, but there are rays of actual sunshine penetrating the gloom - woot!

We have giant pillars in the middle of our ballroom today. This is not conducive to a successful seminar. Besides that, they're mirrored pillars, which is not conducive to successful interior design.

My speaker is allergic to poultry. This is ironic seeing as how all we ever eat are turkey croissant sandwiches.

We went to Wal-mart today, I was feeling a bit despondent while standing in line because it was taking FOREVER, but then I noticed that the woman in front of me was buying no less than 4 pairs of sensible granny panties along with a brick of pepperjack cheese. I just had to smile.

Holy cow, we were expecting about 125 people for dinner tonight, we ended up with about 160. CRAZY! It was extremely muggy and hot in the registration area, and my fingers are sore from writing name-tags.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Candi? One might think of a thin, well-endowed blond girl with skimpy clothing, and an even skimpier personality. After today I'll only think of a short overweight woman in leopard print sweat pants and sporting a full goatee. *shudder*

We were tired of turkey croissant sandwiches today, so we went to Texas Roadhouse. Love me some steak...and homemade bread...mmm...

Frances is a girl's name. Francis is a boy's name. Don't forget that.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Blue Skies

I haven't seen the sun in 4 days. I can't live like this.

I finally got some free time today, so I went to the mall - it's right next door to our hotel. Not a very good mall, but a mall nonetheless. I wandered, grabbed a cinnamon pretzel, perused the clearance racks and left. Refreshing, but unproductive. Except that my health coach told me I should get 10,000 steps in per day, and this helped with that.

My phone is acting up. I got the replacement from the one that broke a couple of weeks ago, but this phone has a mind of its own. I think it's become sentient. It randomly switches into car kit mode. I don't know how it happens, and I don't know how to switch it out. There's nothing in any menu on my phone that indicates the phone even has a car kit mode. When it's in this mode I can't make calls and none of the alerts work. My phone apparently also has a sense of humor because it decided to switch into to car kit mode in the middle of my nap, so I missed my alarm. There's nothing on the Verizon website that is anywhere near helpful, and even the owner's manual is painfully silent on the subject. I'm at a loss.


I called Verizon. They're sending me a new phone. Apparently car kit mode isn't really something the phone is supposed to do. And when it does it randomly, like mine is, that's not a good thing. At least I won't lose all my contacts this time.

I got a hole in my sock. I hate it when that happens.

I could really go for a cinnabon, or a cold stone...mmm...

I'm a little amazed at how my life has changed since I started this job. In the beginning I was alone and friendless, so I enjoyed working and tried to work as much as possible. At this point I have friends and family at home - friends and family that I rather enjoy - and I want to be home so I can enjoy their company. But I must work. I guess that maybe it's a good thing I won't be speaking. It'll give me a chance to find something more home-based. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, I just wish it wasn't as mysterious just trying to live.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I think Pennsylvania should change its name to Burgville, or Townsburg, or the State of Burg. I think every city here is a burg - Harrisburg, Gettysburg, Chambersburg, Burgettstown...

The following is a trip down memory lane, if it was an actual occurrence in my week, you would not receive a disclaimer:

In high school a girl in my school adapted an SNL skit into a humorous interpretation which she performed for various competitions. It was rather funny. I was spending some quality time with a friend recently and felt it appropriate to quote said skit thusly "I love you you know." I laughed and then had to explain the source. I watched the skit today and it's just funny, so here's the video. Mike Myers and Nicole Kidman in the skit of the hyper hypo.

Also, my friend Joe made a comment on a previous blog in reference to one Roger with regards to whether or not it is, in fact, possible to pull off a mustache. This is a picture of Roger. Weigh the evidence and judge for yourself.

Fact: The last time I checked my text inbox I had four new messages. Who doesn't feel good after that?

We were in Gettysburg this afternoon. What a quaint little town. We were only there for lunch, so we didn't have any time to explore or wander. I did see the town from the car window, and I was completely enchanted. The hotel at which we did our seminar was built in 1797. It used to be a bank, now the vault is a dining room. It was rather charming.

Quote of the day: "It's hard to work on my language when life keeps placing stupid people in my path." I won't quote the source, but they know who they are and are free to out themselves in a comment if they so desire. All I know is that this made me laugh out loud today.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I burned 671 calories this morning

Continental breakfast is an enigma to me. Why did they pick the term 'continental'? Which continent does this particular series of breakfast items come from? Is continental just a euphemism for 'free'? If so, why do they say 'complimentary continental breakfast'? That's like saying ATM machine. Perhaps these are some of the mysteries of life that will never be fully resolved, like the disappearance of settlers from Roanoke Island, the life of Jack the Ripper, or how they cram all that graham.

This video made me pee a little in my pants. Thanks Ellesse!

Carolyn was wearing three sets of wedding bands on her ring finger. The only thing I can surmise from this is that she's been married three times, and is either a polygamist with three husbands, or is just weird and doesn't get rid of her rings after getting divorced, but just adds another one on. Chalk one more up for Carolyn!

I get to hear some interesting conversations in my line of work. Most of them make me laugh, but I heard a rather saddening one during the registration process this morning. A young man had been pushed into a pool at a party by a friend and had consequently broken his foot. Rather than practicing forgiveness and realizing that accidents happen, he no longer talks to either the friend who pushed him in, or the friend that owns the pool. The couple he was talking to this morning was encouraging him to sue for damages. I think it's so sad that something so small can turn into something so big and ruin relationships.

Obnoxious question of the week - "How much can I make with a website and still stay on disability?" - seriously?

Here's a delightful passage from David Copperfield (yes, I'm still reading it.):
'Deuce take the man!' said my aunt, sternly, 'what's he about? Don't be galvanic sir!'
...'Go along with you, sir!' said my aunt, anything but appeased. 'Don't presume to say so! I am nothing of the sort. If you're an eel, sir, conduct yourself like one. If you're a man, control your limbs, sir! Good God!' said my aunt, with great indignation, 'I am not going to be serpentined and corkscrewed out of my senses!'
I wish people would verbally assault others with such alacrity nowadays. It would make life so much more interesting! And though I shouldn't, I absolutely love the phrase "Good God!"

My speaker had his luggage inconveniently misplaced by the airline, consequently we had to make a quick emergency trip to Wal-mart last night. So now, along with the molestache, he wears a shirt with a collar that is at least an inch too big making him look...well, creepy.

Monday, August 20, 2007


On my flight to Atlanta I sat next to a man who consumed no less than 3 bottles of wine, and then proceeded to adjust himself inappropriately and without reservation for the remainder of the flight.

My speaker for the week has a molestache. There are a select few men in this world who can pull of a mustache - Tom Selleck is one of them, my speaker is not.

I'm wearing a new pair of flip-flops from Eddie Bauer. They are exceptionally comfortable.

So, I was reading on my flight today and one of the characters in the book reminded me of a friend of mine. Usually this is a good thing, but this particular character is rather...well, creepy. I was a bit sad, but had to laugh in spite of myself.

Saturday, August 11, 2007


Well, my third week in a row is over. I can't tell you how happy I am. I get a week to relax. I'll be busy busy busy the whole time, but I'll be enjoying every minute of it.

It's 111 degrees outside today. Last night we got home from dinner around 10:00 - it was 99 degrees - at 10:00 at night!!! Why do people live here?

I wish I had some funny stories to tell today, but after the bra-less wonder, there's nowhere to go.

Note - a good bed does not necessarily guarantee good night's sleep.

Friday, August 10, 2007

My amusing life

I was trying to think of some motivating appropriate opening for this entry. Something to inspire my readers and uplift you in your life's journey...but I just couldn't think of anything, so I guess we'll just dive right into today's thoughts, some of which may not be appropriate for all readers, so be warned.:

One of my most recent pet peeves is when people ask vague questions i.e. "Am I in the right place?" Well how the hell should I know? (sorry my filter isn't on at the moment.) In the right place for what? You may be, but I need some more info. It's like they're asking the last half of an if/then question. It also bothers me when people say things like "Do you need this?" Uh, no. If I needed it I would have asked for it or taken it. Or "Don't I need that?" Again, if you needed that I would have given it to, all of this sounds really bitter...

This paragraph will mean little to nothing for those not in "the know," but I love seeing people come in with a celestial smile. Especially when it's the meshies. Just brightens my day.

I've noticed that men tend to shorten their names down to one syllable. I think it may be laziness. Mack, Bob, Al, Joe, what's that all about? Not that I have any room to talk...

And now for some retroactivity. Yesterday we had someone come whose last name was Schneckpeper. I want a name like that! "Hello my name is Redenbacher Schneckenpeper." How cool would that be? In High school there was a sticker on my friend's window that said "Vote Michilimackinack!" I expanded that one day Michilimackinackinappilachicola. Yeah, I had some free time on my hands.

Speaking of things from the past, last week, I forgot to write about a man clad in a Hawaiian shirt who asked me where the company was based. I said, "It's a town in Utah called Orem." He simply said "Son of a bitch!" So funny.

Oh my. My friends I thought I'd seen it all, but today takes the cake. I was going to regale you with my fashion feaupax of the week - A man wearing a mesh button-up shirt and a beret, but then a woman arrived who totally and completely trumped him. It wasn't necessarily her blatant disregard for fashion that earned her a place in the annals of disastrousness, her outfit was only a bit on the quirky side - white shorts, a black undershirt with an open floral-patterned button-up shirt over the top and knee-high black socks. The part that wins her the feaux-pas of the year award is the fact that her black shirt was sheer and she was sans bra. I just about threw up, but at the same time it was all I could do to not burst out laughing. How does one go out in public like that? The three of us who were working the seminar all noticed, we can't imagine that we were the only ones. So, as a button to my day I saw nasty old woman boobs. 10 points to Mesa AZ.

Thursday, August 9, 2007


My shirt today has French cuffs. I like them.

I went running this morning and it was a challenge. At the start of my run I felt like I weighed about 200 pounds. It was grueling. Luckily it got better as I ran along.

I hate snooty pretentious foreigners, but I love old people holding hands.

So, French cuffs are fun, but in the summer in Phoenix they're just not practical.

I love talking to old people when their dentures aren't quite secured. It's so entertaining watching their teeth bob up and down during the conversation.

I'd like to send a shout-out to two of my favorite commenters. Namely Leah H. and Angie S. Your comments consistently bring a smile to my face, thank you for brightening my sometimes dreary world.

Tonight we went to Denny's for our evening repast. As we were waiting to be seated a group got up from their table and approached the counter to pay. They waited for all of 30 seconds for someone to show up, but then decided it wasn't worth it, so they left. They just left! Who does that?

At work I sometimes get bored, so I like to flirt shamelessly via text messaging. Nothing brightens my day more.

I apologize for the obnoxiously random tone of this post.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

(Insert dramatic fanfare)

This is my 100th post! Can you believe it? 100 days of mischief and mayhem. We'll have to see if we can't make this post worthy of its most prestigious position.

Some of the speakers that work for this company print up a small bio sheet to hand out with our brochures. I was reading over the bio for our current speaker and thought, "wow, this needs some work." So I said to him, "Did you write this yourself?" thinking that was probably the most likely explanation. He said, "No, I had someone write it up for me, why?" "Well," I said, "it could use a little tweaking." I pointed out some punctuation errors and made a comment or two on the general flow and feel of the whole thing, and then he gave me kind of weird look. But he said to go ahead and tweak it, so I think that'll be my project for the day.

Speaking of speaking...I received an e-mail yesterday from the powers that be (read: Manager of preview speakers) in response to an inquiry I had made as to my status as a speaker. The correspondence informed me that the reason I have not, as of yet, begun speaking is that said manager feels I come across too young. He then informed me that if I'd like to memorize the new presentation, and audition again - only this time with a few more people added to the panel for good measure - fly to Japan using only a kite and a barrel of tuna, and jump through a flaming hoop while singing "Everything's Coming Up Roses" in an imitation Ethel Merman voice, I may, or may not, be able to speak depending on whether or not the panel liked what they saw, received enough bribes in the form of cash, check, credit cards, money orders, and/or sexual favors, had eaten breakfast that morning, and whether the weather was cold, or whether the weather was hot, and whether the weather would weather the weather, whether I like it or not. So basically I'm doomed before I start. I'd be fighting an uphill battle that, frankly, isn't worth it to me. Even if I won the battle I'd still have to fight the war...I just graduated, I'm really not up for a war. So I think I'll stick this job out for another 6 months to a year and in the mean-time I'll look for something else. Preferably in the speaking arena, since even the benevolent masters of the seminar universe, of which I'm a part, recognize that I have a talent for speaking. Ideally I'd like to get a job as a day-time talk show host and live out the rest of my days interviewing the rich and famous, and searching for the world's best cookie, but I'm willing to settle for a cushy career making 100K a year or so motivating people to do more with themselves and making the world a better place. Sorry if I sound embittered, but I think it's kind of sad to become jaded to the corporate world after only 6 months of being a part of it.

On that note, if anyone knows of any opportunities for a bilingual writing, speaking, acting, tap-dancer with a degree in Public Relations, please feel free to leave a comment, or drop me a line!

I just discovered a new hero. On Good Morning America...or The Today Show, I don't remember which...they did a special on a girl who's wardrobe is made almost entirely of clothes she's found. Whether on the street, or in the garbage - wherever. And they're nice clothes - designer stuff. I wish I lived in a bigger city so I could do that.

Someone filled out an enrollment form today and for the day of the workshop they put "Therday." Where do these people come from?

I have yet to see a mullet in Arizona. I find that odd.

Appropriate - I'm sitting at the registration table (luckily the seminar had already started - we're not supposed to sit down during registration) when all of a sudden I see a group of well-dressed men walking toward me, all of whom are accompanied by professional-looking wheely bags. I think "strange." And then I realize it's all, and I mean all, of upper management. From the President and CEO right on down to my own boss. This makes me a little nervous. I don't know why, it just does. The purveyor of the "you're too young" e-mail is among their ranks as well - this should make for an interesting evening.

Starbucks is delightful. I have tried 4 of their cream frappuccinos. Strawberries and cream, oranges and cream, blueberries and cream, and vanilla bean. I love them. I sampled the chocolate one - not my favorite, but not bad.


So, apparently the big boys were in town just to see the new presentation. They came in, watched us work, and then left. I'm a little bitter. Not that I can complain or have any expectations, but really all of these guys make about 400 times what I do, you'd think the least they could do is take us out to dinner - especially after just appearing at random without any forewarning.

My manager just pulled in a bell-cart. One of the wheels is bright orange...just one.

And that was my day. I think I did my 100th post justice.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

"Flames...flames on the side of my face..."

So, Phoenix is hot...

Once, when I was little, I caught a snake and kept it in a bowl on my back porch, but it got out of the bowl and crawled away.

Being that we're in Phoenix I was expecting to see a lot of Latin people at our events. Today we didn't even have one - just lots of retired folks.

My new wallet and I are becoming quite close. I feel like I can tell it anything - right down to my credit card numbers, and I know they're safe! And it's all thanks to Tara. She's the one that found my wallet on eBay. Thank you Tara for uniting me with my wallet!

There's a trend happening with the English language that I rather appreciate. It's the trend of putting the word 'man' in front of everything - man-bag, man-capris, man-date, man-scaping. I like it. I own a man-bag, two in fact. This one has also been called a man-purse, and subsequently shortened to 'murse.' I own man-capris. I look forward to many future man-dates (For those of you raising your eyebrows at this point, a man-date is simply spending time one-on-one with a friend who happens to be a man. It's not courtship, it's friendship. And I think I may make a T-shirt - "Man-date: It's not courtship, it's friendship") And I was thinking of getting my eye-brows waxed. I don't particularly care about those sorts of things most of the time, but I thought it might be fun to do once. Though I don't know how much fun it will be to rip the hair out of my face...

The later a person shows up to our seminar, the less likely they are to have their form completed. It's a scientifically proven fact.

I've been snacking on dried fruit. It's rather addicting.

Did I mention it's hot in Phoenix?

Monday, August 6, 2007


My day and a half break from work this weekend gave me the chance to spend some quality time with some of the people I love most in this world. Consequently today has been an odd day and I've had quite a bit on my mind, so forgive me, if you will, but I'd like to indulge in my sentimentality for a moment.

I get to see some pretty amazing views in my travels. They really make you take a step back and just admire the beauty of nature and life. On my flight last Saturday I saw the sunset. It was spectacular. There were clouds behind us and the sun was just peeking over the top. From my vantage point I could also see below the clouds and all of the vivid fiery colors of the sunset made it look like the earth was glowing under the clouds. It was awesome.

On my flight today I was feeling especially contemplative. I put in my headphones and turned on my mp3 player while gazing out the window. It's not often that I don't feel like listening to upbeat music, but today I didn't. I was listening to some rather mellow stuff when a favorite song of mine from a "Little Women" came on. It's called "Small Umbrella In the Rain" for those interested in searching for it. It's a duet - a love song, really. I was listening and toward the end of the song it really is just beautiful as the two voices blend perfectly and express so much more than the words alone. As I was listening the thought hit me "Yeah...yeah, this is what it's all about." It was kind of a gentle reminder, a tender confirmation of a powerful, yet simple and beautiful truth.

All of this came after a day of thinking about friendship, love, marriage, the future etc. This may sound a bit hokey, but I really just love my friends. And I know that they love me. It's very uplifting. We laugh, we cry, we're there for each other and there are no unhealthy expectations. We're just oursevles and expect everyone else to be themselves. I love it. I absolutely love it.

So all of this was on my mind as I was soaring across the western desert, and I was soaking it all up. Then we landed...

My reverie was slightly destroyed by the conversation of two of the speakers who had a slightly jaded view about dating and marriage.

My life was somewhat normalized when we stopped at Wendy's and the magic 8 ball game on my kid's meal told me that I'd get married.

Between all of this we saw a man who had a good foot of toilet paper hanging out the back of his pants, and we just didn't have the heart to tell him.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Saturday is a special day

I love Saturdays - even when working. And maybe especially when working. I've probably mentioned it before, but on Saturdays we're done by about 2:30, and then we fly home. It's always an adventure.

Today we were running a little short on time, so our manager squealed the tires on the way out of the parking garage in his haste and nearly gave the woman across the street a heart attack. It was hilarious.

The most adventurous moment of my life up to this point - my phone died. Not the battery - the phone. I was happily communicating with a select number of friends and acquaintances when my phone froze. I think it was because of a picture someone sent me. Anyhow, I took out the battery and restarted my phone - this seemed to work just fine, then it froze up again, so I repeated the process, but this time to no avail. My phone would turn on, but that's about it. It just stayed on the startup screen. I luckily had enough presence of mind to call the Verizon people, after a lovely chat with the CSR guy he informed me that my phone has failed. I'll have to go get a new one probably Monday. So, if any of you have tried to contact me, or will try in the next day or so, I'm sorry for not answering. Blame it on Jeff and his Crocs.

Friday, August 3, 2007


I'm looking in the mirror right now, and because of the way my hair is behaving after 8 hours of sleep and an hour-long workout it makes my head look disproportionately long. Well...that and the fact that I have small shoulders.

I was used as an example today. A good example in fact. It's good to know that I serve as more than a horrible warning for humanity. I sent my boss an email asking for time off and he sent it to everyone in the company as a a good example of how to ask for time off. Warm fuzzies for the day.

It's shark week on the Discovery Chanel. I'm in Oregon. I don't really know what that means, but I'm sure there's something more there than what's on the surface.

My job would be much more entertaining, and I think I'd feel more fulfilled as a person if I could be more helpful to the people who attend our events. This would mostly take place first, in the form of enhanced registration table dialog i.e.:

"I just need you to fill in your phone number and email address, and pull up your pants."
"Go ahead and enter your guest information here, and never wear pink."
"Just grab a couple of brochures and a while you're at it, a gym membership."
"We'll be ready to go in in about 15 minutes, while you're waiting, go ahead and schedule an appointment with your dentist for the soonest available time slot."
"If I could just have you finish filling in this information here and put on a bra."

Not only would my own sense of self-actualization be enhanced, but the world would be a better place thanks to my efforts. Heck I might even be so benevolent as to offer free hair-cuts to those sporting mullets.

There was a lady tonight who is both asthmatic and has some sort of chemical reaction to perfumes. Therefore, she can't sit next to or, really, be in the same vicinity as anyone who has spritzed themselves with cologne or perfume, deodorized their underarms, styled their hair, washed their clothes, brushed their teeth, done the dishes, been through the automatic carwash, or walked past a Bath and Body Works anytime within the last 90 days. To these people I say "Why must you inflict yourselves upon society? Have you no mercy? Can you pitilessly flaunt yourselves about in the quorums of civilization and afflict us with your biological aberrations without scruple or feelings of remorse? I beg you to hide yourselves in the recesses of your domicile! Have pity on us and sequester yourselves away! Your seclusion can be our only savior! "...ok so I may have gone a bit overboard there, but seriously...

Here's a fun game.

I'm surprised how many people give me the dear-in-the-headlights look when I say "We just need a voided check with that." Do they honestly not know what a voided check is? Especially older people - their generation invented checks!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Bay Area

I've made an interesting observation. On Monday I wrote, what I believe to be, my shortest post ever. It received more comments than any other post in my blog. Granted it had a picture of a really cool wallet, but even so...

So, my energetic and talkative Latin coworker is an interesting character study. He's lived in the United States for over 20 years, and yet still has a very thick accent and struggles with English. He's very gung-ho about life quite childlike. Everything holds such wonder for him. The tall trees, the swinging draw-bridge, the rivers and bays. When it's nearly midnight and I've been driving for nearly 3 hours it's kind of obnoxious, but it's also quite endearing. I think there's a lesson to be learned there.

Men with hairy shoulders should never wear tank-tops.

Today we were in Coos Bay. My aunt and uncle used to live in Coos Bay and I visited them when I was about 15...I think. I remember walking along the beach playing with sea anemones, shopping for driftwood art, and visiting a cheese factory. To my great dismay, I discovered that the cheese factory is now closed.

My diet this week has...well quite frankly it's sucked. It's really hard to eat well on the road.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Life as a normal person...

I am constantly intrigued by people's need to feel like they are attractive. We had an older woman come this morning who was a disaster. If she had been in her twenties, her outfit might have been ok. The fact is, she was not in her twenties and her outfit, though the right size, didn't quite fit. On top of this she no longer had holes in her ears, she had notches. So, being a resourceful human being, she taped her earrings on from the back - two in each ear, one pair was dangly.

Ya know how life is a series of peaks and valleys? I think I'm in a valley today. Not a depressing valley full of heartache and anguish - oh no, I'm not in Canada this week - but a valley of serious reflection. I don't feel boisterous or playful. Verily, this may be a time when I do not, in fact, feel like dancing. It's odd.

My Boss was in town today to visit. He's not that much older than me, and he's a really nice guy, but that's always intimidating. Fortunately, I think he likes me.


(later that day)

Down the road from our hotel is a Goodwill Superstore. I went. I bought a sweater. If I didn't have to board a plane on Saturday I would now also be the new owner of a fantastic piece of luggage and a green briefcase.

Ok, so apparently my valley was rather short-lived, or perhaps it was just a dip because I currently do feel like dancing. I took a walk after lunch and I think it might have been the fresh air.

I think pizza places in Oregon are like churches in Utah, or Mexican restaurants in Cedar City. For those not accustomed to those analogies, let me just say they there's one on every corner.

We had a 3-hour drive (cue Gilligan's Island music) to Coos Bay tonight. I spent the time in a car with a talkative Latino. This is not good because when I get tired I get a little cranky, and therefore am more easily irritated. I survived, though, and handled the situation as tactfully as could be expected - by staying mostly silent.