Friday, August 10, 2007

My amusing life

I was trying to think of some motivating appropriate opening for this entry. Something to inspire my readers and uplift you in your life's journey...but I just couldn't think of anything, so I guess we'll just dive right into today's thoughts, some of which may not be appropriate for all readers, so be warned.:

One of my most recent pet peeves is when people ask vague questions i.e. "Am I in the right place?" Well how the hell should I know? (sorry my filter isn't on at the moment.) In the right place for what? You may be, but I need some more info. It's like they're asking the last half of an if/then question. It also bothers me when people say things like "Do you need this?" Uh, no. If I needed it I would have asked for it or taken it. Or "Don't I need that?" Again, if you needed that I would have given it to you...wow, all of this sounds really bitter...

This paragraph will mean little to nothing for those not in "the know," but I love seeing people come in with a celestial smile. Especially when it's the meshies. Just brightens my day.

I've noticed that men tend to shorten their names down to one syllable. I think it may be laziness. Mack, Bob, Al, Joe, what's that all about? Not that I have any room to talk...

And now for some retroactivity. Yesterday we had someone come whose last name was Schneckpeper. I want a name like that! "Hello my name is Redenbacher Schneckenpeper." How cool would that be? In High school there was a sticker on my friend's window that said "Vote Michilimackinack!" I expanded that one day Michilimackinackinappilachicola. Yeah, I had some free time on my hands.

Speaking of things from the past, last week, I forgot to write about a man clad in a Hawaiian shirt who asked me where the company was based. I said, "It's a town in Utah called Orem." He simply said "Son of a bitch!" So funny.

Oh my. My friends I thought I'd seen it all, but today takes the cake. I was going to regale you with my fashion feaupax of the week - A man wearing a mesh button-up shirt and a beret, but then a woman arrived who totally and completely trumped him. It wasn't necessarily her blatant disregard for fashion that earned her a place in the annals of disastrousness, her outfit was only a bit on the quirky side - white shorts, a black undershirt with an open floral-patterned button-up shirt over the top and knee-high black socks. The part that wins her the feaux-pas of the year award is the fact that her black shirt was sheer and she was sans bra. I just about threw up, but at the same time it was all I could do to not burst out laughing. How does one go out in public like that? The three of us who were working the seminar all noticed, we can't imagine that we were the only ones. So, as a button to my day I saw nasty old woman boobs. 10 points to Mesa AZ.

4 comments:

Tara said...

BWA HA HA! That's all. I was laughing through most of your post. Delight.

Leah said...

I think you mean the anals of disastrousness because ideas like going out in public that way come straight from the behind, not the mind.

Anonymous said...

HAAAA!!!! :-D

Unknown said...

I think that if someone told me the company I was investigating was based out of Orem I'd respond with, "Son of a bitch" as well.