Wednesday, August 8, 2007

(Insert dramatic fanfare)

This is my 100th post! Can you believe it? 100 days of mischief and mayhem. We'll have to see if we can't make this post worthy of its most prestigious position.

Some of the speakers that work for this company print up a small bio sheet to hand out with our brochures. I was reading over the bio for our current speaker and thought, "wow, this needs some work." So I said to him, "Did you write this yourself?" thinking that was probably the most likely explanation. He said, "No, I had someone write it up for me, why?" "Well," I said, "it could use a little tweaking." I pointed out some punctuation errors and made a comment or two on the general flow and feel of the whole thing, and then he gave me kind of weird look. But he said to go ahead and tweak it, so I think that'll be my project for the day.

Speaking of speaking...I received an e-mail yesterday from the powers that be (read: Manager of preview speakers) in response to an inquiry I had made as to my status as a speaker. The correspondence informed me that the reason I have not, as of yet, begun speaking is that said manager feels I come across too young. He then informed me that if I'd like to memorize the new presentation, and audition again - only this time with a few more people added to the panel for good measure - fly to Japan using only a kite and a barrel of tuna, and jump through a flaming hoop while singing "Everything's Coming Up Roses" in an imitation Ethel Merman voice, I may, or may not, be able to speak depending on whether or not the panel liked what they saw, received enough bribes in the form of cash, check, credit cards, money orders, and/or sexual favors, had eaten breakfast that morning, and whether the weather was cold, or whether the weather was hot, and whether the weather would weather the weather, whether I like it or not. So basically I'm doomed before I start. I'd be fighting an uphill battle that, frankly, isn't worth it to me. Even if I won the battle I'd still have to fight the war...I just graduated, I'm really not up for a war. So I think I'll stick this job out for another 6 months to a year and in the mean-time I'll look for something else. Preferably in the speaking arena, since even the benevolent masters of the seminar universe, of which I'm a part, recognize that I have a talent for speaking. Ideally I'd like to get a job as a day-time talk show host and live out the rest of my days interviewing the rich and famous, and searching for the world's best cookie, but I'm willing to settle for a cushy career making 100K a year or so motivating people to do more with themselves and making the world a better place. Sorry if I sound embittered, but I think it's kind of sad to become jaded to the corporate world after only 6 months of being a part of it.

On that note, if anyone knows of any opportunities for a bilingual writing, speaking, acting, tap-dancer with a degree in Public Relations, please feel free to leave a comment, or drop me a line!

I just discovered a new hero. On Good Morning America...or The Today Show, I don't remember which...they did a special on a girl who's wardrobe is made almost entirely of clothes she's found. Whether on the street, or in the garbage - wherever. And they're nice clothes - designer stuff. I wish I lived in a bigger city so I could do that.

Someone filled out an enrollment form today and for the day of the workshop they put "Therday." Where do these people come from?

I have yet to see a mullet in Arizona. I find that odd.

Appropriate - I'm sitting at the registration table (luckily the seminar had already started - we're not supposed to sit down during registration) when all of a sudden I see a group of well-dressed men walking toward me, all of whom are accompanied by professional-looking wheely bags. I think "strange." And then I realize it's all, and I mean all, of upper management. From the President and CEO right on down to my own boss. This makes me a little nervous. I don't know why, it just does. The purveyor of the "you're too young" e-mail is among their ranks as well - this should make for an interesting evening.

Starbucks is delightful. I have tried 4 of their cream frappuccinos. Strawberries and cream, oranges and cream, blueberries and cream, and vanilla bean. I love them. I sampled the chocolate one - not my favorite, but not bad.

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So, apparently the big boys were in town just to see the new presentation. They came in, watched us work, and then left. I'm a little bitter. Not that I can complain or have any expectations, but really all of these guys make about 400 times what I do, you'd think the least they could do is take us out to dinner - especially after just appearing at random without any forewarning.

My manager just pulled in a bell-cart. One of the wheels is bright orange...just one.

And that was my day. I think I did my 100th post justice.

4 comments:

Tara said...

You do dramatic well. But then, I think we already knew that! Happy #100!!

Unknown said...

Upper management scares me as well. Also, I am sorry to hear that the powers that be don't appreciate the amazing talent you have for speaking to a crowd. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your week, try not to get sick, and I'll see you this weekend. Happy 100th post!

Anonymous said...

Yes, you did do it justice. And here are my various comments:

Way to proofread someone's bio and tweak it to make it better. Maybe you should've been an English major.

Grow some facial hair. Not only will it make you look older, but it will also make you look even hotter.

Steal Oprah's job. Or at least the talk show host job of someone who sucks at it.

A kid registering for orientation day via email wrote that his major was "Bisomess." I think he was related to the "Therday" person.

Keep spotting those single orange wheels on bell carts and you will continue to lead an incredibly enjoyable existence, depite your babyface. :-)

Leah said...

Okay, I could write a comment as long as your post, but I won't. I'll just say that I love misspellings. Someone on craigslist recently posted their "droors" for sale.