Sunday, January 25, 2009

A dream is a wish your heart makes

In a recent list of 16 random things about me, as you may recall, I postulated on the idea of my own destiny for more than the average bear - if you will. A short time later I read a friend's blog post about having dreams in life. It got me to thinking about exactly what it is that I'd like accomplish in my short time on this planet we call home - what will be my mark of greatness. Now, I'm no John Goddard, and I don't think I'm nearly as altruistic as my friend in what I want, but still, in my own way, I'd like to do something with my life. Life's too short for regrets. So, here is the beginning of the list of things I'd like to do before I die, my own bucket list, as it were.

Learn French
Teach in a foreign country (Canada and Mexico don't count)
Get a master's degree...or two
Get married and hopefully discover - and subsequently develop - a talent for making babies
Write a New York Times best selling book
Be a children's author
Audition for a Broadway show
Be in a movie (not as man number 1,387 in the crowd, but something significant)
Own a house with a huge family room and a wrap-around porch
Visit all 50 states
Road-trip across America one summer visiting all the random weird things in our country that you never really hear about
Host a talk show
Visit the seven wonders of the world (all of them, there are actually more than 7, there are in fact, several lists of 7)
Visit every temple in America (I'd like to say the world, but there are getting to be so many, that that may actually become rather unattainable, however I'll do my best.)
Be a presenter for some program or another. Preferably something I'm rather passionate about.
Be a Dapper Dan at Disneyland.
See an opera at the Sydney Opera House
Walk a stretch of the Great Wall of China
Go on an African Safari
Take a ride in a 2-seater plane
Play Seymour from "Little Shop Of Horrors", sometime, somewhere
See a Solar Eclipse live
Stay a night at the Plaza Hotel
See the Aurora Borealis

Roles I'd like to play, but aren't necessarily imperative to my ultimate happiness:
LeFou - Beauty and the Beast
Percy - The Scarlet Pimpernel
Man in Chair - The Drowsy Chaperone
Max - Lend Me a Tenor: The Musical

I'll keep this list updated (if it's red, that means I've done it), and, per the example of said friend, linked, so you can all read how cool I've become *wink*, and whatever other crazy aspirations I've invented.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Julie Andrews? Is that you?

I wanted to say something witty and clever.  Some fun story from my life, but not in the usual format.  A friend of mine did an ABC list - but that's taken.  Top 10 lists are labored.  So I thought, "Can't do ABC, can't do 123, how 'bout Do Re Mi?"  So I present the Do Re Mi's of Mr. B

Do, I don't get paid enough
Re, light at the end of May
Mi, I don't have time for him
Fa, the very last school day
So, I act and teach and read
La-ng into my weekend nights
Ti-ching my kids everything
And I still don't get no Do!

And that about sums it up.  Hope everyone else is doing well.  If you get a chance, and have $20 lying around, come and see me in "Cash On Delivery" at Hale Theater.  It's one funny show! (As opposed to two funny shows *waka waka waka*)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

For a good time call...

I've arrived.  From this moment on I am the coolest teacher at my elementary school. (Not that I wasn't before, but this makes it official.)

Inside the girl's restroom in one of the stalls (though you'll no longer be able to find it due to our industrious janitor) was written:

Mr. B 
is a gay
from Megan

Probably not really from Megan - even the third graders at my school aren't stupid enough to sign their name to something like that - but hilarious nonetheless.  I just laughed.  Someone actually dislikes me enough to deface public property in my honor. *cue the single tear*

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I decided on the couch template.  It was my favorite one.  Anything I should add to this place I call my online home?

Thursday, January 8, 2009


16 things you didn't know you didn't know...about me...

1 - I love learning about new research.  I think it's fascinating to read about what other people are finding out - the best methods for teaching reading comprehension, how many people get divorced every year, what sorts of nasty bacteria are living in my ridiculously delicious triple-fudge-brownie-sundae-extraordinaire.  Love it.  But I hate doing the research myself.  I'd rather be eaten alive by the bacteria that inhabit my dessert.

2 - In matters of importance, I would rather go through the extra work of completing an entire project by myself, than trust someone else to do it.  I want it done my way, and the only way I know that's going to get done is if I do it myself.

3 - In 7th grade I stubbed my toe on a vacuum cleaner and broke it.  I had to wear one of those neat blue boot things to gym class.

4 - I like to use dashes while writing - they're a highly effective - and underused - mode of setting apart text - obviously.

5 - I don't know what this says about me, or if it's abnormal, but I've always had the feeling that I was meant for greatness in one form or another.  I just don't feel like I'm here to be another Joe Schmoe (no offense to all you Joe Schmoes out there, you do important work and I respect you greatly for it.)

6 - My brain is really good at latching on to, and manipulating patterns.  Consequently History is my worst subject.

7 - When decorating my living space I sometimes get too wrapped up in unconventional decorative media i.e. using old doors as a visual barrier (as opposed to say, a curtain or japanese screen), using legos as a CD wrack, making a fish tank out of an old TV etc.  I just think things like that can really spice up a room.  Am I wrong here?

8 - I like to push boundaries.  Just ask my parents...or certain friends...

9 - I have problems with authority of any kind, to the point of not even wanting to be forceful in any way with call center reps.  I need to grow a pair.

10 - I've recently discovered (surprise surprise) that enjoying what I do is more important than making a lot of money doing it.  Though it would be nice if I could combine the two.  Maybe someday (I am meant for greatness after all.)

11 - I am exceptionally good at bargain shopping.  I'm serious.  It's like some sick twisted talent.

12 - When speaking about attractive features of your desired sex, I'm a hands/feet kind of person.  Hands are one of the first things I notice.  If you have nice hands it's a borderline turn-on.  If they're not-so-hot, it's a borderline deal breaker.  No kidding.

13 - I think hell will consist of never-ending bumper-to-bumper traffic and the only thing on the radio - that you won't be able to turn off - is the Neil Diamond Christmas album.

14 - I like having and finishing projects.  They keep life interesting and make me feel like I've accomplished something.

15 - I inherited a messy sort of pack-rat gene from my father's side of the family, and though I try to keep it in check, sometimes it just pops up.  My desk and closet are usually indications of that fact.

16 - I keep a safety pin in the outside seam of the right leg of my pants for no real reason.  One day I just put one there, and it became a thing.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

*grumble grumble*

This morning I was sitting in the greenroom at the theater waiting for the show to start.  A friendly discussion was being had about the victory of the Utes last night in Louisiana.  The conversation then turned to the salaries of college football coaches, thus leading to a discussion of University President pay and the discrepancies between the two (coaches make more than presidents) at which point someone in the room, who will remain unnamed, said, and I quote:

"Coaches are worth more than presidents."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I almost left the room.  Just because they're paid more DOES NOT mean they're worth more. People always talk about having family, religion, education etc. as priorities, but look at where America spends its money - who gets paid the most - and you'll see where its priorities really lie. 

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good live sporting event as much as the next guy, but the ridiculous, and I mean ridiculous amount of money, time, energy, attention etc. etc. etc. that go into athletics - from high school on up - makes me want to move to a desert island.  And if you think I'm exaggerating, you don't know me.  The way we idolize (and I pick that word for a reason) sports in this country tops my list of pet peeves.  I really don't even have the energy at this moment to go into it.  

*sigh*  I feel better.  Anyone up for canasta?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

99 bottles

It's that time again - time to look back on the year, accoutered with happiness and smiles.  Last year was kinda rough for me.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I still had plenty to be happy about - the ups were up, but downs were really down.  This year, however, was pretty much 1/2 a cup of wow mixed with three pounds of AWESOME!  In celebration of that inspiring recipe for life, here are, in no particular order, this year's 100 things that make me happy:

-When it turns warm enough to stop wearing a jacket
-When it turns cold enough to start wearing sweaters
-When the tar in parking lots gets so hot that it squishes under your shoes
-Playing outdoor games like tag with kids who don't really get the rules
-Going barefoot
-The smell of rain
-Ice cream
-Brownies in all their varieties...except maybe when combined with peanut butter - not my fave.
-The Alpine Slide in Park City - even if it is ridiculously overpriced
-The smell of baking bread
-Non-no-bake Cheesecake
-The first day of school
-Chocolate Malt-o-meal
-Applebee's half-price appetizers
-Sticker Charts
-Having a job I absolutely love
-Homemade wassail
-Homemade soup
-Homemade anything, really
-An exciting football game with the fam
-The smell of clean laundry
-Finding the perfect gift
-Friday dance parties
-Being able to help
-Season tickets
-Laughing til I cry
-Friends in all their varieties
-New glasses
-Good hair days 
-Funny T-shirts
-Going overboard on 75% off sales
-Facebook status updates
-Eccentric lighting
-Soft pillows
-The giant black furry scrotum
-Wal-mart bingo
-Power tools
-The birthday song in 6-part harmony
-Being on stage
-People watching
-Sunday dinners
-The crazy people I work with
-Finding a great bargain
-Having a recipe for hot chocolate rather than just relying on the package
-Art projects
-The Gateway fountains
-Acing a big test...or two...
-When kids say something that makes me laugh out loud
-Big hair
-Getting "the look"
-Accent walls
-Finishing a project
-Street-side crepes
-Discovery new places
-Downeast long-sleeve men's T's
-Having something to look forward to
-Comfortable furniture
-Theme days
-Mod Podge
-Good-looking facial hair
-Playing footsies
-3 day weekends.
-Celebrating little stuff
-Third-party compliments
-Anonymous and/or unexpected acts of service
-New friends
-Power tools
-Shaving the mustache!
-Mac Photo Booth
-Making people laugh
-Raspberry sauce
-South American markets
-Good smells
-Great Harvest bread
-Writing random stories
-The zoo
-Afternoon naps with the front door open
-Free pancakes at IHOP
-Kristen Wiig
-Functional windshield wipers