So true.

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail ago full of thoughts from people our age (i.e. twenty somethings). I have to say I agree with all of them.

Random thoughts from people our age...

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to
be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like
check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to
yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're
crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

-There is a great need for sarcasm font.

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first
saw it.

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting
90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's
laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little
bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the
only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

- Was learning cursive really necessary?

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.

- My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."
Classy, bro.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete
idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and
said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if
I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be
a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will
they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't
watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and
leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light
internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
every time...

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and
the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner

New Friend

This is my new friend and church:



I'm fairly certain that on more than one occasion, it will save my sanity.

My other family

This is one of the best things about being part of the theater family.

Milestone

I overestimated* one of my children's ability to hold it.

*Thanks Toph and Carm for the correction. :)

Poeticality

Our first unit in Language Arts for the year is "Friendship." It's very cute. As a getting-to-know-you warm-up-for-the-unit activity, I made friendship packets for my kids that include things like drawing a picture of you and your friend, a word search, coloring pages etc. etc. etc. One page is for the kids to write a poem about friendship titled "Friendship is..." Here's mine:

Friendship is gooey, sugary, buttery goodness wrapped in chocolate and eaten from the pan.
Friendship is long walks and short walks and no walks at all.
Vision boards, and staring at the wall. Breaking beds and breaking hearts.
Friendship is laughing til you're curled in ball on the ground clutching your sides.
Friendship is love sacs, and love taps, and elementary-esque love notes.
Season tickets, seasonal desserts, and seasoned kissers.
Trips to foreign places, and places around the block.
It's crying from laughing, crying from heartache, crying from sleep deprivation.
It's being stranded in an airport with nothing but a jacket and copy of Harry Potter 7.
Friendship is retail therapy.
Friendship is pretty freaking awesome.

What's on your mind?

My summer according to Facebook:

Greg Barnett...

...is so excited for three months of day-time relaxation
...is sad that Treasure Island is over, but excited for Dolly
...is relaxin' at home
...is at the theater
...is heading to Panguitch for some family fun
...is at the theater
...kind of loves Dolly a lot
...should probably be working on school stuff
...is headed home for the 4th
...is at the theater
...watches too many crime shows
...is at the theater
...needs something to do during the day
...is at the theater
...hopes his epic road trip for next summer works out
...is at the theater
...will be in Junction for a few days enjoying the company of his family
...went knee-boarding for the first time and had a total blast!
...is at the theater
...auditioned for another show - no dice
...cried a little during his last performance of Dolly
...is at the theater
...auditioned for yet another show - again, no dice
...finally figured out the plot to Pimpernel after 6 weeks of rehearsal
...is at the theater
...is at the theater
...is at the theater
...is opening tonight, and not sure if he's ready
...is at the theater
...has a free evening for the first time all summer, and isn't really sure what to do with himself
...wanted to work in his classroom, but they were waxing the floors
...is at the theater
...finally got to work in his classroom, and is actually kind of excited for school to start back up
...is at the theater
...will enjoy his last weekend of summer freedom to the fullest
...is starting school being involved in only one show, and that's probably for the best
...is at the theater

The life of an eggplant...or an egghead...

So, aside from family reunions, crime show sprees on cable, and drawn blood in the last three shows at Hale Theater (none of it mine - knock on wood), there hasn't been much going on since school go out. I spent too much money on back-to-school clothes, and not enough time trying to become a better teacher, but such is life.

School is now back in and the first week is past (173 days to go!) And we kick-started it with flair. I got a honeymoon period of about 3 hours with my class this year. I've got some real winners. My class consists of 5 white kids, 1 Polynesian, 1 Vietnamese, and 21 Latinos (2 Carloses and a Jesus). I think it's awesome. Should be an interesting year.

Evidence - beginning of the year, getting-to-know-you surveys about favorite things:

color - red
food - carrot
person - brother
place - park
animal - dog
school subject - math
article of clothing - recess
time of day - lunch
game - Hulk Unlimited Destination xbox live.

subject in school - riteing (does anyone else see the irony here?)

movie - August Rush (surprising, but awesome)

I got lots of Michael Jackson and The three Little Pigs as answers to various questions. I'm not sure what that means.

Anywho, school is back in session, the children have brought their A-games, luckily so have I. It seems to be going well so far. I'm excited to see how many of my kid's favorite animal will be a tarantula when we get to that part of the curriculum, and I'm excited for the weather to cool down as our school has no A/C.

I wanna be this guy

Tuesdays

A random thought on a Tuesday morning, enjoy:

God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.

God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Too soon?

Initial estimates indicate 38 states, roughly 10,000 miles, and just shy of 7 weeks. I'm planning next summer's road trip spectacular across the country. It's gonna be huge.

Usually when I get crazy ideas like this they sound fun for a while, but never amount to much. Stuff like moving to France for a year - just because, or graduating college and working for Disney for the rest of my magical days. This idea, however, is something I really want to make happen. So, here's the deal:

(Imagine me putting on my teacher hat.) One of the best ways to increase comprehension in the young ones is to build and activate background knowledge i.e. if we're going to read a story about farming we see what the kids already know about farming, then we talk about what a farm is and what farming entails. Then, when we read the story, the kids have a better concept of what's going on, and thus their comprehension is increased.

So, here's my idea - I want to drive across the country interviewing the authors of the stories we'll be reading in class. Get their point of view, their inspirations for the stories etc. etc. etc. I'd also like the authors to read the stories on camera, and then I can show that to my kids. I think it would be cool for them to actually hear the story from the person who wrote it, rather than just reading a story written by some person they'll never meet. I also wanna get some stellar background footage like Cape Canaveral and the Moon Landing exhibit for our unit on the sun and the moon. Or The Baseball Hall of Fame and a shot or two of Dodger's stadium for our story about baseball.

I'd also like to try and contact some famous people that the kids can connect with to maybe read one or two of the stories. I think that might motivate the kids to read more and really get excited about what we're doing in class. I don't know anyone famous, but I know people who do, or know people who know people who do. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

The authors live everywhere from St. Petersburg, FL to Seattle WA, so it's going to be a rather epic journey. But I'm pretty stoked about it.

I realize it's still early for a lot of this to happen, but I'd also like to not have to pay for the trip myself. I'm looking at getting some grants and/or sponsors to help me out. If any of you know of any grants that I might look into, or any companies that might be willing to sponsor this expedition extraordinaire, please let me know!

Here's to cock-eyed optimism!