Back on the bus

I started a couple of classes today to get going on things toward my certification.  Of the 8 hours scheduled for mind-expanding intellectual experiences, I think we used maybe an hour in a productive manner.  I used the rest of the time to finish the homework assignments that are due tomorrow - which included 42 pages of reading, and 2 pages of typed responses, work on my book, and eat lunch.  And I was still on my way home a full 2 hours before the scheduled release time.  It's going to be an interesting couple of weeks.  Hopefully my eyes will still be in my sockets when all is said and done.

What's a peck anyway?

I own the Viggetales 10 year anniversary CD (don't judge me, it's freaking awesome) I sometimes listen to the music from it on Sudnays...I think that's appropriate. This song popped up today and made me laugh. Especially the end.


boomp3.com

The end of the beginning

This week brings about an end to certain things - summer school, the 2007/2008 school year, my life as a part-time worker.  It's all very exciting really.

It's also a beginning.  I began my life as an official teacher with a little training.  And so it begins.  I have more trainings, and I have some classes coming up, then more training, and school starts and it's all over but the singin'. 

I came up with a cool idea for measur

ements.  I'm gonna have my kids make paper airplanes, then we'll throw them and measure how far they go.  It'll be fun.

I'm worried about my kids.  I give them a worksheet to do every morning to start out the day.  Here's a question that most of my kids got wrong:

The question was, "At what temperature does water turn to ice?"  I just had to shake my head.  I went over the question with them.  I drew the diagram on the board, and read it out loud to them while indicating the temperatures, then asked the question and I got answers like, "Zero!", "One hundred!", "Winter!" *sigh*

Then I had a boy ask me, "What does 'before' mean?"

Nevertheless I'm excited to be a teacher.  I start some of my certification classes next week.  I have 8 hours of classes for two straight weeks.  I think I might be a bit overwhelmed when all is said and done, but it's gots to be did!

WHAT?!?!?

I had a parent call me Mr. B.  That was sort of a surreal experience.

I also signed my contract for next year. I'll be making more than I thought.  Woohoo!  But I had to pay more money in the process.  Boohoo.  But I get benefits - woot!

My level of love for children is sometimes equal to my level of annoyance, shock, and frustration with their parents.  One of my 2nd graders today asked us (us being me, and the 2 aides I have in my classroom) if we'd seen Freddy vs. Jason.  I was surprised (somewhat) to know that she even knew what that was, and utterly appalled to find out that she'd seen it.  SHE'S 8 YEARS OLD!!!!  Oh well, ya can't save 'em all.

Matters of size

Somehow a bird got trapped in my classroom over the weekend. So when I showed up to school Monday I found little presents smattered about the room. Delightful.

My corn blower is gone. Apparently their family is having some difficulties, so they won't be coming back to summer school, and they're going to a private school in the fall. Part of me is glad because he was a handful, but I'll miss him at the same time.

On the bus-ride to the zoo: "Let's see whose is bigger!" Don't worry, they were just talking about their name-tags.

One of them asked if we were going to the Hoagie zoo.

The zoo was awesome. We saw animals, climbed animal statues, contemplated buying animal souvenirs, ate ice cream - which has very little to do with animals at all, but is extremely delicious - and I ran into an old high school friend (Hi Jill!)

I love kids. I think I may have mentioned this before. I think we can learn a lot from them. Today my lesson was to recognize the wonder all around us. We took I-215 to the zoo for a fieldtrip today. I think about every other minute the kids were shouting, "Whoooaaahhh!!!" At some thing or another - the view of the valley, the big houses on the hill, the canyon we passed. Then they would do the arm-pump every time a big truck passed us and got the biggest kick when the driver would honk their horn. Love it.

In closing I'd like to say that I don't know if there's much of anything more adorable than a sleeping child. Too cute.

Summer...what's that?

I was introduced this morning as the member of the summer school faculty - that's right, faculty - in charge of 2nd grade.  I have 26 kids registered in my class, but only about half of them show up, so it should be a fun three weeks.  We've got daily computer time, read naturally lab, small group time, lunch, and 3 planned field trips.  I don't think there's going to be much time for actual teaching, but I'm sure it'll be a blast.  

Because summer school is for the kids who need an extra boost, I think it'll be ripe with opportunities for "Is what I just heard really what you just said?" moments. Like this:

I have a rather special young man in my class for the summer who has the attention span of a small kitchen appliance. I let him leave to use the bathroom. I left the classroom several minutes later to see him walking out of another classroom. I just looked at him and didn't say anything, then the following short conversation occurred:

Boy: Well, sometimes I have diarrhea and corn comes out. I just had to tell my sister.
Mr. B: (confused look) Ok.

His sister happens to be the girl in 3rd grade who reads 16 words a minute.

Or this:

I was working on an example for our art project today and overheard a few of my kids who were working with one of the aides.  They were doing timings on groups of words.  One of their words was "milkshake."  After his timing on of my little cherubs innocently - or perhaps not so innocently - declared, "My milkshake's better than yours."

There are some kids I just don't get.  No matter how many times you tell them something they seem to end up doing their own thing.  Total space cadets.  Oh well, I guess the world needs cosmonauts too.

Last the best of all the game

Alright, recap of the last week of school.  Try not to be too jealous of my amazing life.

Monday:

Field Day.  I manned the inflatable water slide which made me even more popular than before - if that's even possible.  I'm still waiting on pictures...

Tuesday:

Talent show.  It started off with the 4th grade faculty playing rock band (this is a talent?).  They failed miserably, but the kids seemed to enjoy it.  There was some horrible lip-syncing, and then there were actually some pretty cool talents.  One 1st grader did some karate, another jumped around stage on a pogo stick, a couple students played instruments, and one completely adorable 2nd grader did a traditional Venezuelan folk dance.  I was coerced into a surprise musical number to tie everything together.  The gym went crazy when they heard I was up.  That's a good feeling.

Wednesday:

6th grade breakfast.  I got free breakfast.  

6th grade vs. Faculty Softball (which turned into indoor volleyball because of rain.).  The faculty wasted the 6th graders.  It was our last opportunity to exercise our authority over them.

Thursday:

I did absolutely nothing productive.  I mostly signed kid's books, ate random snacks, and got SUPER excited about next year.  Then they fed us lunch.  It was a day filled with levity and mirth.

Just so you don't think I coasted the last week of school, I did have to take kids to the computer lab and supervise them for several hours each day.  One day my boss even assigned me to work with Mary.  She did give me a break though because in her words, she didn't want me to go to prison.  But still, I think this week pretty much rocked!

And the winner is...

Ok, here are the answers to the brain teaser:

7 = Brides for Seven Brothers

76 = Trombones in the Big Parade

3 = Blind Mice (See How They Run)

12 = Signs of the Zodiac

29 = Day in February in a Leap Year

88 = Piano Keys

1001 = Arabian Nights

9 = Justices in the Supreme Court

18 = Holes on a Golf Course

50 = Ways to Leave Your Lover

24 = Hours in a Day

32 = Degrees Fahrenheit at which Water Freezes

99 = Bottles of Beer on the Wall

1000 = Words that a Picture is Worth

90 = Degrees in a Right Angle

9 = Planets in the Solar System (now there are only 8)

4 = Quarts in a Gallon

40 = Days and Nights of the Great Flood

54 = Cards in a Deck (With Jokers)

1 = Horn on a Unicorn

60 = Seconds in a Minute

57 = Heinz Varieties

7 = Days of the Week

I can just hear all of you going "Oh!"  Isn't it grand?

Room 8...

Room 8 of David Gourley Elementary is currently occupied by one Miss Jackson - a vivacious, attractive young woman with a zest for life and a flare for shoes.  But she's moving to the first grade next year which is located in a different wing of the school with classroom numbers like 24.  She's excited to have lesson plans that involve patterns, excessive art projects, and the basics of reading.  She's also leaving behind 3rd grade math manipulatives, a desk from the mid-70's, and a stool.

At this point you may be asking yourself several questions - Why the biography on Miss J?  What will happen to room 8?  Why are patterns so cool?  What does any of this have to do with Mr. B?  And what about Naomi?

Let me enlighten you.

Miss Jackson's biography is important as a subtle, yet gripping introduction to a very important, and in fact life-changing announcement.

Room 8 will obviously be occupied by another educator of the highest standard.

Patterns are cool because one can then create things like tessellations.

This has to do with Mr. B. because today Mr. B. officially became Mr. B. of room 8 at Gourley Elementary.  That's right y'all - I'm teaching 3rd grade next year!  Multiplication, cursive, DIBBELS scores of 110 or higher, Roald Dahl, Christmas Programs, gym time, computer lab, lunch at noon - it's all mine!  I'll be right at the bottom of the stairs if anyone cares to visit.  School starts Aug. 25.

As for Naomi...

Raising the Bar

One of the other Title 1 aides is marrying the janitor. It's like our own little west-side soap opera. And I get to be a part of it all.

The older kids like to loop the swings around the top bar

a time or two to make them higher and more conducive to swinging enjoyment with longer legs. So I often have the wonderful task of un-looping the swings. Every once in a great while one of the swings will get knotted up and I end up having to climb on top of the swingset to fix it. I feel so adventurous in those moments.

Our school has a panda costume. I was coerced into wearing it. It was hot and had extremely limited visibility. Luckily there was a fire drill so I didn't have to stay in it long. Also with the quick-changing skills I've acquired since being in the theatre I was out of the costume and out of the building before most of the kids, so they're unsure whether I was the bear or not.

In my show tonight my pants totally blew out. I'm talking the entire crotch seam. It was amazingly hilarious! I had to leave the stage. I'm just glad I wasn't wearing a thong.

The school talent show is next week so they had auditions to find the best talent in the school.  From the 3rd grade 8 girls auditioned.  They all sang with CD's.  Not minus tracks, CD's.  One song had the F-bomb in it.  One song was about adultery, and one was "Jesus Take The Wheel." *sigh*

During 3rd grade power hour my kids were working quietly in their books when out of nowhere one of the boys sings, "Every kiss begins with K..."  It was a beautiful moment in my life.

The sixth grade was working on a brian teaser and I thought I'd share it. They're called letter equations. For example: 26 = L in the A. 26 = Letters in the Alphabet. Here are the rest. According to the paper if you get 5 or less you're average, 5-10 you appear to be fairly intelligent, 10-15 you're highly intelligent, m0re than 15 you deserve a better job. I got all but two (insert hair toss).  Do your best.  Don't use google to find the answers.  I'll post the solutions next week sometime.  Have fun!

7 = B for SB

76 = T in the BP

3 = BM (SHTR)

12 = S of the Z

29 = D in F in a LY

88 = PK

1001 = AN

9 = J in the SC

18 = H on a GC

50 = W to LYL

24 = H in a D

32 = DF at which WF

99 = B of B on the W

1000 = W that a P is W

90 = D in a RA

9 = P in the SS (I'll give you hint on this one, it's technically 8 now.)

4 = Q in a G

40 = D and N of the GF

54 = C in a D (with J's)

1 = H on a U

60 = S in a M

57 = HV

7 = D of the W