Please don't send me to Mrs.Larson. I am sorry and don't tell her how behave she yelled at us how do you think that feels. Would you like it? As her if she will like it. And plus I'm going tell my dad to take my hole family to, go ,to, a different school. And for your imfermation we girls cry because you are sometime torchering us and we don't like it. No ofence.but you're very rude sometimes."
This girl was sent to Ms. Larson's room after a second infraction of appropriate classroom behavior. Ms. Larson started her career teaching in inner-city Memphis, so she doesn't really take crap from anyone. This young woman came back to my room sobbing - She couldn't really even talk. (The crying comment in the letter is because another girl broke down into tears later in the day and I was lamenting the fact that I have such emotional girls in my room.)
I had another girl who came to school on Friday after having seen her parents carted off to jail the night before. She didn't want to go to power hour, so I let her just sit in my room and read, though I almost wanted to send her to power hour.
In these moments I realize how hard it must be to be a parent sometimes. Where's the line between tough love and a little TLC? I almost felt bad for the first girl when she was crying so hard she couldn't even talk to me, but I realize that sometimes you need to be brought to tears for a change to be made. With the second girl I thought, well she's at school so she might as well be doing what the rest of us are doing, but for crying out loud!
So, all you parents out there, here's a chance give those of us who are a little less experienced an insight or two. What are your thoughts on this? When do you let it slide, and when do you take a "spare the rod, spoil the child" approach?
5 comments:
I'm not an expert at dealing with other people's children. I do know that each child is different and will respond to discipline in different ways. ie. spanking worked with me, but not with my son. He just laughed at me and made me mad thus giving me the urge to spank him harder. Not a good situation, so I decided not to spank and found a different approach. In a classroom setting you probably have to be more consistent with all the kids so that you don't end up being "unfair". Maybe you could talk to the class and ask them what would be a fair punishment for misbehavior. Then when you have agreed on something, put it in a place that everyone can refer to it. Once again, I'm not an expert so I hope I helped. Good luck!
Dear Greg
NEWS FLASH We pretty much fly by the seat of our pants most days too. Parenting like teaching is a talent. Some people just naturally have a feel for it and others just haven't got a freakin' clue. That said, you, my son, have a wonderful feel for most discipline type situations. Now for the meat. 1) Think of your relationships with your kids as a "trust" bank. Until you make enough deposits to have a working balance you can't make withdrawls.
2) Always keep communication lines open.
3) reprove betimes (quickly) with sharpness (exactness) and show forth an increase of love lest he whom has been reproved esteem you to be his enemy or something close to that.
Your biggest fan
I go for tough first, followed by love soon after. If they know you deserve respect first and foremost, the laughing and fun comes on your terms and is had more freely. If it's all fun and games first, they will not take you seriously when you tell them they need to respect you. Then the fun is on their terms.
Also, if you say, "You bes' reca-nize" it will help.
I would keep a mace on my desk. With a 30 lb ball at the end. 3 inch spikes. I used it on Ellen once, when she was 2, and now I hang it on the wall. All I have to do is look at it and she behaves...I like the idea from 'he took my lickin.' make the kids set up the punishments in a fair way and don't stray. But seriously, get a mace.
Good luck, Mr. B! I'm not a parent, yet, and kids are so different that there's not a cut and dried way to deal with them, as you know. I think you're doing a great job, as is evident by the fact that you worry about your school kids--a sign that you care.
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