Friday, April 4, 2008

Tichonderoga Dreams

For some reason my elementary students are especially zealous about getting me married off.  This is eveidenced by their obsession with my relationship with Ms. J.  It can also be seen in the daily strivings of my second grader who constantly asks why I'm not married and why I'm not dating any of the various single women at our school.  Today she said to me, "Listen to me, I'm a woman, I know about these things."  She's 8.  This same girl commented that all the women at our school are "bien puercos."  The best translation I can think of for that is "real pigs."  Though I don't really know what she was trying to say there.

I also had a third grader offer her mom for marriage - though the mother is already married.

I had the most interesting conversation in the 3rd grade.  It involved only white boards.  The kids would write things and I would respond.  Mostly it was "Hi Mr. B."  "You rock." etc.  But then one kid wrote, "weirdo," and I responded with, "punk," then he proceeded to explain how I was in love with Ms. J and we should get married.  What is it with these kids?

At lunch today Erik had a roll in his pocket.  Food is not allowed on the playground, but we let this one slide by telling him that he had to eat it right then - which he did.  He shoved the entire roll - dry as cafeteria rolls are - in his mouth and ran away chewing.  He stopped and sat down when he realized what a challenge that would be, and looked, for a moment, as though he might throw up - but he survived.

Elementary kids are very talented at many things.  One of those things is completely destroying the erasers on the ends of pencils.  They chew, tear, break, rip, bite, and dismember them at an alarming rate.  It's really quite remarkable.

At my school I know at least 4 boys named Ethan.  All of them are on the plump side.  It's an interesting phenomenon.

In first grade I played an intense game of Go Fish!  It was about to get dirty, but then the bell rang.

For the first time in probably 15 years, I saw a slap-bracelet today. Unfortunately it was made of plastic so it didn't work as well as the skin-piercing metal ones from my childhood.  Even so, it brought back some good memories.

3rd Grader:  Mr. B, do you wear underwear.
Me: Yes
3rd Graders: (insert 8-yr.-old giggling)
Me: Um...everybody wears underwear
3rd Grader: I don't.
Me: (insert looked of awkward stunned silence)

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