Thursday, May 17, 2007

An eventful day

I ate an apple while I showered this morning. Sort of an odd experience - eating in the shower, but it was fun. After my shower I ate an orange. I think I've discovered the most important difference between apples and oranges. Apples are a convenience, on-the-go kind of food. Grab an apple and go. Oranges, on the other hand, were designed to be enjoyed. Perfectly sectioned and portioned. You can't really do anything else while you're eating an orange. Nature has made it rather difficult to do so.

Theory - well first, some background. This is my 12th week on the road this year. 3 countries, 3 provinces, 7 states and the District of Columbia. Numberless hotel rooms and an equal number of ballrooms. I have yet to leave anything behind. My theory is that when one travels a lot, the gods of travel don't take anything. Usually when you go on vacation, or whatever the reason you're away from home, you lose something or leave something behind. If I left something behind in every hotel room/ballroom - soon I wouldn't have anything to leave. So I think the powers that be leave me alone in that respect.

I hate when the bathroom light switch is on the outside. I'm not comfortable with someone else having control of the lights while I'm in the shower.

The highlight of my morning - I walked downstairs and passed a bunch of young people getting a pep-talk on the stairs. As I was walking to the car I thought to myself "That reminds me of the Cutco conference I went to." When I returned, I saw with delight, that it was, in fact, a Cutco conference! I was a Cutco rep for about three months, so to see the new masses of young people being indoctrinated to cut the rope and smile just did my heart good.

Here's a video I saw last night that made me cry it was so funny. I'm into videos right now because I have lots of time on my hands. Please forgive me...but laugh anyway!



I think as far as gaudy conference carpeting is concerned, Marriot is at the head of the pack. They've always got the best, and it's always in the best of taste.

I love paper mate pens.

We have a little bonus thing that we offer at the end of our conferences and people who take advantage of said bonus get a free MP3 player. Granted, it's a generic, rather ghetto MP3 player, but it works, and it's free. So, today this guy came up and grabbed one, well my manager informed him that they aren't free and then walked away to help some other people. I saw the guy hurriedly stuff it into his shirt! The guy was like 50 and he was trying to steal an MP3 player! But since I saw him I said, sir, those aren't free. He played dumb, and said "Oh, they're not, ok." And put it back. Unbelievable.

I've taken to winking at people. I feel odd, but it's now sort of a habit, and I just can't stop myself. Although I think it adds and air of mystery to every I do.

4 comments:

Tara said...

Or an air of pedophile, but you can take your pick...

Anonymous said...

To comment on the various themes of your blog:

I completely agree about the apples and oranges.

I'm glad the travel gods have taken pity on you.

I also despise outside-the-bathroom light switches (particularly having two older brothers nearby on family vacations).

Cutco knives rock my socks.

The video was too long for me to watch in a single installment at work inbetween appointments without being caught.

I haven't seen much gaudy conference room carpeting, but I think casino carpeting takes the cake.

I love black BIC Roundstick medium point pens. I always have one in my pocket every day.

Old people stealing is actually a little bit funny to me.

And winking is my favorite, so keep doing it. ;-D

Anonymous said...

"Silence! I keel you!"

You're right. It was funny. Yay for bootlegged ventriloquism! :-D

Katie said...

Greg,
I miss seeing and hearing you laugh so hard you cry....