The man who owns the world's worst toupee (no, not Fred Adams, this one was worse. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.) came to our event today - for the second time! I don't know how he thought we wouldn't recognize the toupee. These people floor me.
If it takes effort to shift your weight from one leg to the other, tham means there's too much weight to shift and you need to loose some. If I ever get to the point where I have to special order my pants, get the extender belt on the plane, or heaven forbid, buy two seats on the plane, someone needs to smack me.
Rubber bands are fun
I dance. This is what I do. It's what I love, and I happen to be half-way decent, so I dance. My speaker this week freaks out whenever I dance. Today he said "Stop that homophobic...uh..." and continued to stammer because he couldn't really figure out what he wanted to say. I said, "Hey you're the homophobic one here!" he said, "You're right, I am homophobic!" in a proud manner. This is not a good thing to say to me. Luckily for him we're going home in about 2 hours, otherwise I would have sooo much fun making him feel uncomfortable. I like to keep people guessing.
Missouri has more aggravating construction than any place I have ever been. But we survived, and now I'm going home.
3 comments:
Seat extender?! HA! Or as I affectionately call it--"The Fat Strap." Good times :)
I'll tell you what, though-- even though I'm not "lift me out of my house with a crane" obese, it amazes me how small they actually make some of those things for daily life. So sorry, but you can't sit next to me on the plane--I'll probably be buying both seats.
My friend Rachel works on the "fat floor" of the hospital and had to fill out paperwork to order a people crane to lift patients from their beds. Sometimes I wish I had a people crane.
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